Conversations About Stuttering

[ Contents | Search | Next | Previous | Up ]


Re: Getting Involved in School Extra Curricular Activity(ies)

From: Judy
Date: 06 Oct 2007
Time: 18:50:31 -0500
Remote Name: 70.22.163.191

Comments

Sounds like a helpful idea! Extra-curricular activities, in or out of school, will give you an immediate connection with other kids. Everyone present will have a similar interest. You may not have to say much in the beginning. Spend some time looking around at the kids there, getting a sense of how the activity will be organized, what the expectations are...Of course, you will probably eventually have to say the single word that many people who stutter have trouble with - your own name. That alone might create alot of anxiety. Read what Alan Badmington and Judith Eckhardt have to say in this conference about expanding comfort zones and not avoiding. I'm thinking of two general areas for you to think about: 1. managing your stuttering and 2. learning effective social skills. Working on your stuttering will mean learning how to not let your stuttering get in your way. Maybe this means learning how to tolerate your own stuttering. Maybe it means discovering ways to deal with how people react to your stuttering. Maybe it means practicing "speech tools." Whatever it is, you may need to create opportunities, not just wait for them to show up. For example, you and your parents might spend a couple hours at a local mall walking up to strangers asking them what time it is, asking store clerks where to find something, ordering food at the food court. You will go to the mall with a plan as to what to say and how many people you will talk to. Start with a short sentence if necessary, but talk to as many people as possible. If this will embarrass you, drive a distance to a mall at which you will not meet any peers. Your goal is to get comfortable with whatever happens with your speech from listener to listener. Do this with a parent so that you have support and protection. Your parent will help with choosing safe looking people to approach and terminating unwanted conversations. Store clerks are ideal because they have to be nice to customers! Some of them even had training and experience in dealing with all kinds of people. (But don't get talked into buying something you don't want!) Secondly, you will want to learn good social skills. I have given the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie (1936) to teens for Christmas. (Younger children might like "How Kids Make Friends by Lonnie Michelle, 2002). You will want to be prepared to stand up for yourself in polite ways. "Stick up for Yourself: Evert Kid's Guide to Personal Power and Positive Self-Esteem" by Kaufamn, Raphael and Espeland (1999) and "Sticks and Stones: 7 Ways Your Child Can Deal with Teasing, Conflict and Other Hard Times" by Scott Cooper (2000)has some easy to read information. I also like "The 7 Best Things (Smart) Teens Do" by Friel and Friel (2000). Can you tell I love self-help books! :) As long as you are DOING something towards your goal of speaking in front of the class, good for you!! Maybe you won't speak in front of the class until next semester or next year. But you DO need to feel you making progress on a journey towards that end. p.s. Public speaking is very difficult for almost everyone. Learning skills of public speaking couldh help you out as well. Thank you for writing and good luck!


Last changed: 10/22/07