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From: Jim Caroopen, Mauritius
Date: 20 Oct 2007
Time: 15:57:48 -0500
Remote Name: 196.192.103.125
Dear Christina Thank you SO MUCH for your comforting words – which makes feel even more that we are not alone in this world, and that our suffering as stutterer can be shared and can be understood by others. As a recovering stutterer, I find that there is a further difficulty in my daily life. The question that I now face is whether to say or not to say that I am a recovering stutterer. For example, I had to participate to a group presentation in front of my MBA class this morning. I had decided not to talk of my stuttering to my friends – and to go for the presentation as a “normal” person. The preparation went on fine – but when the presentation date approached and we had to rehearse, I had prepared small cards on which I had written my part presentation and was planning to use this in front of the class. To my point of view, I was approaching the presentation to the best I could – and it was obvious to me that I would present in the same way as my friends – i.e. walking through and addressing the class without any “written help”. The simple fact of having to address a class of over a hundred “normal” persons – plus our lecturer who would be marking us! – was a sufficient challenge for me. However, my friends found that my small cards was a problem and tried to convince me to do like them. I tried to resist and this created additional problems in the group. Finally I did my presentation using my cards this morning – and I am very happy not to have stuttered. There might have been one or two blocks – but taking a deep breath, I managed to continue my presentation without attracting attention on these. I consider it to be a personal breakthrough – but the problem which I had with my friends is something very painful to me. I was found to be a trouble to the group – and I am unsure whether they will accept me for future group assignments. On the other had, I also had experience in a group where I had announced that I was a recovering stutterer. There was a positive response from the group members – except that the focus was on my stuttering and this somewhat distorted the relationship we had. I mean, I was in a sense considered as somebody “fragile” and “special” and the relationship was not like a relationship between two fluent persons. I just wanted to share this with you today. Jim.