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From: Gunars Neiders
Date: 06 Oct 2007
Time: 18:22:05 -0500
Remote Name: 67.183.183.115
Amanda, I am greatly encouraged that more and more SLPs and SLP students acknowledge that we do not live in a psychological vacuum. I really do hope that you will take some courses in counseling and experiment with various techniques, especially those that deal with unconditional self-acceptance motivation whether one stutters or not. Self-esteem and unconditional self-acceptance is sometimes used interchangeably. At other times self-esteem is very damaging because it is really conditional self-esteem: "I am not a worthwhile person unless I talk fluently, excel in another area, or am loved or liked by other people." This type of conditional self-esteem is very, very damaging, because most of us are fallible human beings and will make mistakes, be disliked by others, or have something about us that is not endearing to other people......Motivation and persistence are very individualistic traits: a) some people are motivated by fear, b) others are motivated by hope, c) some people are motivated by curiousity, d) some by not wanting to extend too much effort (i.e. being lazy)......I was simply motivated by understanding that there was nothing physically wrong with me in the deepest sense because when I was alone I could talk fluenly or nearly so......There just had to be an answer how to rewire the brain so it would not scare itself into a state of anxiety......To me it was only logical that there must be an answer......I also was not afraid of hard work or discomfort or disapproval as much as other people were......So I just kept on trying......I just wish that in one of my speech therapies someone would have mentioned the magical words, "Let us see what can we do to work on the psychological aspect of your problem. Do you think you are as worthwhile of an individual whether you stutter or not? Do you think something "awful" will happen when you stutter? What are you telling yourself in order to make yourself anxious? Are you afraid of the discomfort of stuttering? Are you afraid that other people will disapprove of you, if you stutter? Where is the evidence for your self-beliefs, your self-talk? Is it logical for you to tell yourself all these negative things? How does it help you to avoid facing stuttering and not using voluntary-pseudo-stuttering?" These would have made great self-disclosing conversations that might have led to improvement in my speech much sooner than it did.......My family and I never talked about my stuttering. I did not have any friends with whom I could talk about it then......I just knew the problem could be solved with finding the right type of things what to do and then doing them, time and time and time again...