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From: Gunars Neiders
Date: 17 Oct 2007
Time: 11:45:03 -0500
Remote Name: 67.171.0.68
Dear Karol,………Because we are brought up in a society that is anti-intellectual, anti-scientific we often tend to think irrationally. For example, we demand things be different than they are and are frustrated and lack the courage to change things we can change. This is where Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy comes in. You could choose to go to an REBT psychologist. Or you could try the “industrial strength” self-help route. First let me try to paraphrase problem in a way that it is amenable to solution. ….The problem with most of the people who stutter is black and white thinking. It is hard for most people to acknowledge that it is possible to increase their fluency to such an extent that it would be hardly noticeable and not interfere with communication. They want either perfect solution or they think they have to have as disruptive speech as they have now. …………….Most persons confuse accepting stuttering with accepting the severity of stuttering and the emotional drain speaking causes (anxiety, shame, guilt). They rate themselves as good when they don’t stutter and depreciate themselves when they do stutter. One way to overcome such irrational thinking is by first understanding REBT techniques and then applying them to stuttering. First thing you need to do is get Lynn Clark’s book “SOS Help For Emotions” and read it. Then apply it to stuttering (or send me your e-mail address to neidersg@comcast.net get my dissertation and work through it). ………………..When you do this hard work, and, yes it is work, you will be able to unconditionally accept yourself, understand that you are forever fallible human being, who does some things and has some characteristics that you like and some that you don’t. You will acknowledge that in the past you have stuttered. That nobody is perfectly fluent. However, you will be inspired to work relentlessly until your stuttering improved ten fold or more. You will be inspired to improve your communication skills. You will no longer feel anxiety of speech situations and guilt and shame will be a thing of the past. You will have solved the emotional problems surrounding stuttering and be able to work on the practical problem of getting more fluent. At that stage may want to enlist for a short time with a board certified speech therapist who is using the *stuttering modification* techniques. And until the day you die you will never accept severe stuttering and have the tools to prevent it from ever cropping up again. One or two easy repetitions (Iowa bounces) of voluntary pseudo-stuttering a day is all you will have to live with once you have worked through the regimen. Nothing comes for free. No miraculous insights. Managing stuttering, thinking about stuttering, and emotions about stuttering will take some effort. It is a skill that has to be learned. So order Lynn Clark’s book today. :-)