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From: Ellen-Marie Silverman
Date: 11 Oct 2007
Time: 09:33:26 -0500
Remote Name: 64.12.117.17
[" . . . Unfortunately, many children suffer because they cannot view their experiences rationally and objectively. I agree with you that we must teach children to love themselves, and I would be most happy to help my clients do so. However, I find this a little bit daunting because as Speech Language Pathologists, we are frequently asking them to change. Do you have any specific recommendations for making kids feel good about themselves, even while being asked to change?"] >>> Hello, Renata. First of all I'd like to thank you for taking the time to comment and ask a key question about our role as therapist relating to a child, or an adult. But before I do, I would like to emphasize that children do perceive a situation differently than an adult might, not because, as you suggested, they are irrational or subjective, but because, cognitively, they have less experience to draw upon and a less mature system to analyze new information than adults might. In fact, two or more adults witnessing the same scene have been shown in various research projects to see, hear, and interpret the events with considerable divergence in general recall and interpretation. >>> With that said, I'd like to share the lyrics to a song the late Fred Rogers, known to us more commonly as Mr. Rogers of the PBS long-running, award-winning show, "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood," co-wrote and frequently sang. The song is entitled, "It's You I Like (copyright, 19791)." It's you I like It's not the things you wear. It's not the way you do your hair, But it's you I like. The way you are right now, the way down deep inside you, Not the things that hide you Not your toys--they're just beside you. But it's you I like. Every part of you-- Your skin, your eyes, your feelings Whether old or new. I hope that you'll remember Even when you're feeling blue That it's you I like, it's you yourself It's you. It's you I like. This song, for me, is an exemplar of expressing unconditional love and acceptance. When we can recognize the difference between who children are and what they do, we can help them change what would be helpful for them to change without encouraging them to feel diminished in any way. >>> Again, thanks, Renata, for your question. Ellen-Marie Silverman