[ Contents | Search | Next | Previous | Up ]
From: Ellen-Marie Silverman
Date: 18 Oct 2007
Time: 08:51:02 -0500
Remote Name: 205.188.117.66
[[". . . I certainly agree with you that our lives are predictable and if we are unsure of change, we revert to what we know. Yet our lives are in constant flux and we really do have to prepare ourselves and “create conditions” for change to occur. Also, I had never really considered how children and their far reaching conclusions and interpretations could affect therapy. . ."]] >>> Justine, Hello. I appreciate your comments regarding the paper, "Creating Conditions for Change." But, apparently, I was not quite clear in writing this paper if reading it left you with the impression that I believe our individual lives are predictable. Collectively, they are in that we all are born, die, and suffer, but our individual life journeys from birth to death are just that, individual, and, I believe, we long for a certain amount of predictability along our own paths, which makes many of us, at some point in our lives, quite adverse to change. We like the status quo even if we are uncomfortable in it, say in a personal relationship that is hurtful or in a job that is annoying, because we know what we're dealing with. We prefer that to dealing with the unknown. That attitude, I've just capsulized, is what can make therapy a challenge for both client and clinician. >>> I'm glad to hear from you that reading the paper helped you recall that children, as you yourself undoubtedly were, are far from inert package of minds and bodies for adults to mold. Children, and that includes, in my mind, infants and toddlers as well, constantly respond to their experience by associating it with their paramount issues as vulnerable human beings, "Am I Safe?" and "What Do I Have to Do to Be Safe?" by drawing conclusion to answer those questions. That is what I referred to as their interpretations of their life experiences. Those interpretations have profound consequences on their subsequent thoughts and behaviors as they morph into personal beliefs. These beliefs, which often persist into adulthood and serve as the driving force for what we think and do even then, may be quite different than what we would expect a child with the experiences we know them to have had to hold, for example, recall my personal example that I included in the paper. >>> Thank you for letting me know what about the paper was meaningful to you. Best wishes, Ellen-Marie Silverman