Do We Spend Too Much Time Talking To Ourselves?

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Talking about Stuttering

From: Carla Bernier
Date: 16 Oct 2008
Time: 23:02:43 -0500
Remote Name: 151.203.181.111

Comments

Leys, Thank you for your thoughts on who is talking to whom about stuttering. I am a Board Certified Fluency Specialist in a more or less rural area. Adults with stuttering problems rarely come forward, for a number of reasons. I do see more preschool children who stutter, and I am convinced that the numbers you report, nine of ten, will not grow up to be people who stutter. I have a son-in-law who stutters, but we never talk about it. He is a brilliant man, working as a computer programmer for a large insurance company. He travels over one hour to work, missing valuable time with his young family. He has been given raises at his place of work while many of his co-workers have been laid off. This tells you how valuable he is. He has tried to get jobs closer to home, to shorten his time on the road and save money. However, he gets to the second interview, and that's it! I can't help but wonder if he is being discriminated against because of his speech. He is a very proud individual, and I know he must be torn apart inside, but I don't know what to say to him. I have gone through my daughter, sending the message that I will do what I can to work with him, but the message comes back that he doesn't want to work on it. I can't blame him, as so many adults who stutter have had bad experiences with therapy as children. Back then, I think the speech was the only thing that was worked on, with little regard for feelings or attitudes. I don’t think that he doesn’t want to work on his speech, but that he is convinced that it can’t be cured, and the past is too painful. We know that there is no cure – but also know that there are lots of things that we can work on that can change our attitudes about our speech – and change the attitudes of others – if we come across with more confidence. It IS a disability that doesn’t show, and likely can cause more mental stress than a more noticeable disability. I want to send him this article, but I’m afraid to stir up feelings, or come across as the pushy mother in law! Do you have any suggestions on how I could open up communication between my son-in-law and myself (we do have a good relationship)? I don’t want to impose therapy; I just want to encourage him to talk to the world in a more confident way. He doesn’t even talk to other people who stutter. BTW, I just went to YouTube and viewed your video. I hung on your every word! You are a dynamic speaker, and I’m looking forward to your next airing!! Sincerely, Carla


Last changed: 10/16/08