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From: Pamela Mertz
Date: 13 Oct 2008
Time: 18:53:54 -0500
Remote Name: 24.195.241.203
Carla, first of all, thanks for the thoughtful comments. Many times I have wondered "what if" about my former boss, who unwittingly changed my entire life by firing me. I have thought how he would react if he could see me now, and I had thought I would take pleasure in thinking, "look what you did". But my satisfaction comes from knowing where I have been and where I am going. The old me would have loved to say "I told you so", and reveal my anger and hurt at what he did, but the new me is reveling everyday with what sharing my stuttering experience really means, and how helping people in this way is helping me ten-fold. I had one year of speech therapy, when I was in 3rd grade. That was many years ago - I know now that SLPs are more able to deal with stuttering. It has been very painful for me, living a lie and keeping such a huge secret, but now it is so freeing to finally talk to others and write about my experiences. I think maybe one of the best things you could do with a stuttering child or teen, is have them talk with an adult who stutters. That would have been so important for me as a kid, to know I wasn't alone. And, yes, a support group would have been good, but that would have meant that I had to disclose to someone, and my fear and shame didn't allow that. So again, had I known an adult and realized I wasn't alone, I think that would have been life changing. I try to do that now, talk with kids or teens, and parents - just to let them know that an adult can still be successful and stutter. I am so honored to hear that you will share my story with others. Thats why I am talking, to reduce my shame about the past and put my experiences to good use. --Pam