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From: Lynne
Date: 06 Oct 2008
Time: 16:29:17 -0500
Remote Name: 76.215.118.209
Pam, It is so good to see an adult who stutters finding some personal application from my 'nugget'. You give a wonderful example of shared responsibility as a result of your engaging others when you describe how you asked a co-worker not to finish your utterances and she tells you that she is working on honoring your request. What you did by revealing your stuttering and stating your request was to create an open situation that is allowing both of you to take some initiative. You are being honest about your stuttering by stating a preference for how you'd like others to interact with you. That has freed this co-worker to let you know that one of her own issues is trying to be, perhaps, helpful in ways that aren't always really helpful, and she can tell you that she's working on this. From what you said of her, it sounds as if she is prone to finish off sentences for other people, too, not just with you. My point is that each of you is working on your own 'goals': you to be more open, acknowledging your stuttering and she to reduce her interruption of you (and, hopefully, others). She isn't responsible for your speech--you are and want to be. You aren't responsible for her habit of interrupting--she is and has let you know that she wants to control this behavior. Sounds like a win-win situation. And, all because you chose to be open. That is the beauty of engaging others as you address your speech and the issues surrounding it. When parents engage in therapy with their children, I am hoping not only to help the child learn skills that can be difficult to carry over outside of therapy; I am also working to engage both child and parents in dealing with stuttering in positive ways. The openness that results can help to demystify stuttering and, as Bill Murphy says, 'de-awfulize' it for both the child and the parents. It sounds as if you are figuring out how to do this on your own--bravo! You said that you don't think you'd be comfortable asking a teacher to do voluntary stuttering with you. That would seem a bit odd, wouldn't it? However, you can engage co-workers, friends and family by looking for other appropriate ways to be open about your stuttering. Simply using voluntary stuttering engages others by letting them hear you stutter--the secret is out. That may open more avenues for you to talk with closer friends or colleagues about your stuttering. You may find others telling you that they, too, stutter, or did as a child. Or, they may ask you questions about stuttering that will open a conversation up with them about stuttering. Thanks so much for posting your comment. I have seen your posts in other places on this conference; I am so glad that you are willing to share your experiences with all of us. Regards, Lynne