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From: Lynne
Date: 14 Oct 2008
Time: 22:06:51 -0500
Remote Name: 76.215.118.209
Tom, I've had a few parents, and mostly fathers, who viewed stuttering in a similar way to what you describe, and that is here in the big city. I think that cultural expectations play a rol;, the rural model of the self-sufficient male, perhaps, and with the clients here, I've seen this most often (although certainly not exclusively) in the African American community, where among some males a very rapid, fluent back-and-forth conversational style is prized. One of my clients had a dad who refused to attend therapy with his son because he saw the boy's stuttering as a sign of weakness. The boy's mother arranged for the father to attend one session with his son. I didn't try to educate dad overtly, or get him to do any transfer work with the child. The three of us played basketball, a favorite sport of both the child and his dad. As we played, we did a desensitizing exercise together that the child and I had done before; he challenged his dad to participate. The task was to stutter on as many words as possible when talking before each turn at shooting a basket. The dad was a bit reluctant, but was also very competitive and agreed to join in. They both worked hard to out-do one another at stuttering voluntarily. The boy loved doing this with his dad. I can't say that it had any long lasting impact on his dad, who never came to another session. But, I saw his dad smile and laugh with his son over a stuttering activity. All I could do was hope it made a small impact on the father, giving him a glimpse of what it is like to stutter. Right now, I have a child who attends our university clinic for a speech sound disorder rather than stuttering. His father makes all sorts of negative comments about his son and his 'bad habit' and 'laziness' over his speech, both alone with me and directly to his son's face. I wonder if these parents who are so hard on their kids were not cherished for who they were when they were young. Telling this dad to lighten up is not likely to do anything other than make him take his frustration out on his son even more. So, I look for positive things that I see the dad do with or for his son, and I say something to him about that. And, I make sure to tell the client what I notice the accomplishments he is making toward making changes in his speech. All children who stutter, or have any other speech/language issues, need to be acknowledged for the work they do to change their speech. I see this as having a more important place in my practice as the years pass. I used to assume that clients would obviously recognize the effort that they put into therapy, but, of course, this is often not the case. Children who do not have strong family support for the work they do in therapy need this clear and consistent support from us even more. I wish you the best in finding ways to support the children you work with in your community. It sure sounds as if you are presented with quite some opportunity for learning! Regards, Lynne