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From: Ellen-Marie Silverman
Date: 21 Oct 2008
Time: 00:30:45 -0500
Remote Name: 205.188.117.18
[After reading your article, I was wondering what your suggestions were in helping others realize their acceptance and how to reach their happy ever after.]] Diana, thank you for your kind words. Well, I think we can come to the point where we can be genuinely happy most of the time, even while facing life's trying times of grief and loneliness, by choosing to skillfully respond to what actually is. We need to face squarely what is then take whatever action we believe will be helpful and in the sequence we see as most beneficial. When we face life this way, rather than blaming or withdrawing in anger and hurt, we feel empowered. When we feel empowered, we are more apt to feel happy. So, the first step is taking the time to recognize what is before us, and the second is taking compassionate action characterized by kindness toward ourselves and others. As we learn to do no harm by, at the very least, refraining from gossip and speaking untruthfully, taking what is not truly given, and so forth, we become increasingly happy. And we become increasingly happy by thinking about others as much as or even more so than ourselves. Let me just add, Diana, that I prefer the concept of surrender over that of acceptance when relating to life because acceptance often leads to a resentful inactivity born of the belief that, "Well, that's the way it is; I just have to grin and bear it." Surrender, to me, refers to non-judgmentally assessing what is as a pre-requisite to deciding how to work effectively with what is. You might want to think about this distinction a little bit and see if you don't also see this difference. Ellen-Marie Silverman