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From: Alan Badmington (to Jessica)
Date: 07 Oct 2009
Time: 18:46:38 -0500
Remote Name: 84.69.10.167
Hi Jessica, Thank you for reading my paper and taking part in the threaded discussion. The negative manner in which we converse with ourselves can be so damaging – we really do need to be mindful of our self-talk. Despite my stutter, I feel that I have maintained a healthy attitude for most of my life. Although suffering considerable heartache and disappointment, particularly during my service as a police officer, I have always tried not to dwell on the negative experiences. There were, however, occasions when I chastised myself for failing to communicate well in really important situations (for example, when giving evidence in court, or during promotion board interviews), but, in general, I am proud of what I have achieved. You ask if specific people were hard on me because of my stuttering. I recall two such incidents when I was a police officer. On one occasion, a supervisory officer wrote (of me) “When this officer gives evidence in court, he is an embarrassment”. I was subsequently removed from operational duties and transferred to an administrative role. While attending a police promotion board many years later, the Chief Officer of Police prematurely terminated the proceedings, yelling “Get out, you’re wasting my time. Don’t come back, I’ll never promote you because of your speech”. That did wonders for my self-esteem and confidence. :-) Having been active within the international stuttering community for many years, it appears that people in most countries have little understanding about stuttering. Even some members of own families do not know how to react when we suddenly block, or display secondary behaviours. For that reason, I undertake an extensive series of talks to community organisations (in the UK) in an attempt to create a greater public awareness about stuttering. You may wish to check out the following link: http://www.stammering.org/newdoors.html I believe that persons who stutter could do so much more in this respect, although I fully appreciate that the very nature of stuttering is such that some may well feel reluctant, or unable, to discuss it with others. This greater openness has helped to desensitize my feelings towards my stutter. I am most grateful for your contribution. Kindest regards Alan