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From: Alan Badmington (to Julie)
Date: 10 Oct 2009
Time: 15:44:55 -0500
Remote Name: 84.64.242.44
Hi Julie, Thank you for taking the time to read my paper and participate in the threaded discussion. Please call me Alan - Mr Badmington makes me feel so old. :-) I will attempt to answer the points that you raised, although I should stress that I have never really had any contact with children who stutter, apart from a few in the 13-16 year old range. The views that I am about to express are my personal opinions, some of which relate to my own life experiences. Good self-esteem is so important to children (and adults), whether or not they stutter. The way in which children feel about themselves shapes their development and will, eventually, influence how they live their lives as adults. The roles of parents, family members and teachers are of prime importance. What exactly is self-esteem? I suppose you could describe it as a measurement of how we perceive ourselves; an estimation or rating of our self-worth. Children who feel inadequate or unaccepted (because of the way in which they speak) are unlikely to have high self-esteem. People with low self-esteem often have a distorted picture of who they are. They tend to overlook their strengths and inflate their weaknesses. Conversely, high self-esteem can be very empowering, providing us with self-efficacy to deal with life’s challenges. If I were raising a child who stuttered, I would attempt to create a positive self-image by ensuring that he/she was not excluded from everyday happenings and social activities. Although I would keep a close watching brief upon the situation, I would take care not to be over-protective and speak on the child’s behalf. I would encourage my offspring to (as far as humanly possible) assume responsibility for his/her own speaking challenges - arranging for appropriate advice/guidance to be given to teachers and other parties, whenever necessary. I would certainly not shield my child from the outside world. I think it is important that a child who stutters lives as normal a life as possible. It has been my experience that many adult PWS lack good inter-personal/communication skills. This is not surprising if such persons have remained on the fringes of conversation throughout their lives. I have witnessed some PWS being given a greater degree of fluency, yet (initially) they are unable to communicate effectively with others because they lack the ability to conduct a meaningful conversation. There is no suggestion that they are unintelligent – they simply have not developed the art of conversation which most people take for granted. I would certainly encourage my child to participate in a wide range of activities/interests. I feel that this would broaden his/her horizons; afford opportunities for social interaction; and demonstrate that levels of ability/competency differ from person to person. Hopefully, such exposure would lead to an increase in his/her levels of confidence and self-esteem. As a matter of interest, I was never teased at school (about my stutter) due (I believe) to the fact that I excelled at several sports. You enquire what my parents could have done differently to help me cope with my stutter. That’s easy - nothing whatsoever! :-) They were the ideal parents. They loved me unconditionally – my stutter was never an issue with them. They never criticised me, nor commented unfavourably upon my speech. They never made me feel different, nor suggested that I should exclude myself from any pastime or activity. They allowed me to live an expansive existence, encouraging participation in a variety of different fields. They did not use one word or action that would have damaged my self-esteem. When (as a fresh-faced 19 year old) I doubted my ability to join the Police Service (because of my stutter), they actively encouraged and supported me to pursue the application. As you will have noted from my paper, I was successful and subsequently wore a police uniform. It saddens me that they both passed away before I had dealt with my stuttering issues, and did not witness the immense transformation that has occurred during recent years. The tenor of your comments tends to suggest that you are either a speech-language pathologist, or have plans to enter that profession. I sincerely hope that you find something of value in my lengthy nostalgic ramblings. :-) Kindest regards Alan