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From: Alan Badmington (to Kelen)
Date: 10 Oct 2009
Time: 17:17:27 -0500
Remote Name: 84.64.242.44
Hi Kelen, I was moved by your generous comments. It was kind of you to write in such a vein. Some of us are presented with far greater challenges than others. I readily acknowledge that we cannot select the cards that we are dealt in life but I firmly believe that it is the manner in which we respond to those challenges that determines the quality of our existence. When we are young, it is difficult to realise that our time on this planet is relatively limited. This becomes more apparent as the years advance (and our hair colour changes). :-) We must, therefore, live life to the full. There is no re-run – we don’t get a second bite of the cherry. :-) We can waste a sizeable part of our lives worrying about things that may never happen, excusing ourselves and spending needless energy searching for reasons not to do something. Taking action does not ensure success, but not taking action is a certain guarantee that nothing will happen. We will retain the status quo. Many of our behaviours are so engrained in the subconscious mind that they are regularly triggered without us being aware. (For example, avoidance crept insidiously into my life without me realising. It became habitual – I did it without thinking). My mindset and behaviours were not serving me well - I knew that I had to make changes. I like to think of it in the terms of being in a car. You can be the driver, or the passenger. If you are the passenger, you will be taken wherever the driver decides. However, if you are in the driving seat, it is you who determines the route that you take. Our instinct directs us to our safe comfort zone – that predictable, tried and tested environment, where there is an absence of risk and change. But, if your conscious thought is the driver, then it is you who chooses where you are going, and the speed at which you travel. As someone once wrote, “We improve ourselves by victories over ourselves”. I suspect that many of those who read these ISAD online conference papers will have experienced unpleasant happenings as a result of their speech. But it important that we do not retain resentment towards those to whom we attribute responsibility for our embarrassment and/or disappointment. If we bear animosity towards another human being, it can act as a cancer and eat away inside us. It can adversely affect our life, as well as the lives of those around us. If we hold onto anger, pain or jealousy, we are forever in danger of surrendering happiness to others. In effect, we are giving them the opportunity to push our buttons and trigger that emotion at any time. It may sometimes be difficult to appreciate that no-one can make you angry or hurt – it is YOU who chooses to become angry or hurt by the manner in which you respond to their behaviour or actions. I have chosen to let go and move on. What happened in the past is history – I cannot change the outcome. You wrote “In short, your article touches every important point in one’s life”. I agree, I believe that the principles I have discussed are applicable to everyone, not just those who stutter. Kelen, you mention that you are not a person who stutters, yet you make reference to a stuttering-related event that will take place in Australia in February 2010. I’m intrigued. :-) Did we meet at the 2004 World Congress for People Who Stutter in Fremantle, Western Australia? If you wish to enlighten me, please feel free to send me a private email (my address is shown at the beginning of my paper). If not, I will simply let go and move on. :-) Thank you, once again, for your valued contribution to the threaded discussion. Kindest regards Alan