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From: Alan Badmington (to Marissa)
Date: 12 Oct 2009
Time: 14:50:12 -0500
Remote Name: 84.64.126.233
Hi Matissa, Thank you for taking the time to read my paper and provide feedback. I am truly heartened that your fluency disorder class recognises the need to address a client’s emotional baggage. In my opinion, merely focusing on the mechanics of speech has only limited value. I feel that dealing holistically with stuttering offers a greater possibility of permanent gains. Although a client may attain a good degree of fluency in a controlled environment, he/she is likely to experience difficulty transferring those gains into the real world because of long-established fears, self-limiting beliefs and a narrow self-image. Throughout my life, I was totally oblivious to the immense implications of avoidance. I did not realise that every time I avoided a word, letter, sound or situation, the fear level increased. Those words, letters, sounds and situations gained a greater emotional charge – thereby leading to further avoidances. In 2000, the direction of my life changed when I embarked upon a new approach via a stuttering management programme. I adopted a zero-tolerance strategy to avoidance. making a pact with myself that I would never again succumb to that temptation. I was determined to say whatever words I wished (and undertake any speaking situation), irrespective of the outcome. When you abandon the protection of word substitution, there will, undoubtedly, be occasions when your dysfluency becomes more obvious to your listener. That’s not surprising because you are using words that you have shunned (at all costs) over a period of years. My new techniques and tools gave me the confidence to counter my avoidances – without them, I know that I would not have been so successful. In the past nine years, I have not avoided one word, one letter, one sound, or one situation. Avoidance is a thing of the past. Our internal voice has a huge impact on what happens in our lives. Negative dialogue can adversely affect our confidence and the subsequent outcome. On the other hand, when we speak to ourselves in a more positive manner, we are likely to experience more positive results. Negative self-talk is the foundation upon which self-doubts are built and can harm our self-confidence. It can also limit our achievements. I learned to deal with my negative thoughts by closely monitoring my inner critic. Each time we re-think a thought, we give it added strength and influence over us. If we replace it with a positive thought, them there is no room for a negative thought. I gained this ability by practising various exercises that allow me to switch images at will. Some of the messages that we convey to ourselves are hugely detrimental. (“You’re stupid, you’re a failure”.) We wouldn’t dream of making such harsh comments to our friends or loved ones. Why then do we insist upon speaking to ourselves in such an appalling and damaging manner? It is so important that we become our best friend, rather than remain our own worst enemy. When you make friends with yourself, you are never alone. A negative person invariably focuses on reasons why something will not work, while creative ideas help stretch us to new limits and explore possibilities. If we sow negative seeds, then we will invariably reap a negative harvest. If we sow positive seeds, then there is a far greater likelihood that positive crops will grow. I also found it useful to maintain a diary of positive happenings and comments. WE should never be afraid to tell ourselves what we have achieved - it serves to reinforce our progress. I spent a lifetime reminding myself of (and giving far too much prominence to) those intances where I felt I had been unsuccessful. That was how my stutter thrived, fuelled by the memorioes of unpleasant speaking situations. I simply reversed the process. Many people allow occurrences to have a negative influence upon their moods and behaviour. It is useful to recognise that we need not allow this to happen. If something untoward happens, then it is the manner in which we react to that occurrence that affects how we feel. It is NOT the incident itself. We (and we alone) choose how we interpret, and react to, the event. When we are able to control our reactions, then we can avoid much of the negativity and emotional upset that occurs in our lives. Returning to the subject of addressing stuttering holistically - when I worked on various areas of my life (for example , non-avoidance, greater assertiveness, self-acceptance, letting go of the past, monitoring negative thoughts etc ) my speech improved as a by-product. Marissa, I hope that you will find something of interest in my lengthy ramblings. :-) I wish you every success with your studies. Kindest regards Alan