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From: Alan (to Amanda)
Date: 13 Oct 2009
Time: 16:35:27 -0500
Remote Name: 84.68.113.233
Hi Amanda, Thank you for your generous comments. Stuttering has now disappeared from my mind in the sense that I cease to think about the physical act, or my personal attachment to such behaviour. Today, I do not have any anticipatory fear about saying any specific word, letter or sound. (It was not too long ago that I avoided using half of the alphabet). When I approach (or enter into) speaking situations, the implications of stuttering no longer permeate my thoughts. They are simply non-existent. Quite understandably, I think about stuttering when giving talks or media interviews, facilitating workshops, writing articles and contributing posts to online forums such as this, but that is an entirely different context. When I prepare a speech (for my numerous public speaking engagements) I simply pluck whatever words I wish from the extremities of my vocabulary, and say them without the fear of stuttering. The debilitating shackles that inhibited me since childhood have been removed – it is so liberating to know that I no longer have to use a word that I consider inappropriate or inferior. It was always SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO frustrating having to settle for 'second best'. (By the way, that was NOT a stutter) :-) Minor dysfluencies occur very infrequently (principally in casual conversation), but they do not involve blocking. Most of the time, they don’t even register with me. Those of which I become aware, I choose to totally disregard. Non-stutterers don’t take account of theirs, why should I? Perfectionism no longer oversees my speech. Since changing my stuttering mindset and eliminating the components that once contributed to my blocking behaviour, I have discovered that it is no longer necessary to constantly focus on my speech or any technique. I simply LET GO and have FUN. Stuttering is no longer an issue in my life. I’m heartened that, as someone who does not stutter, you are able to relate my paper to your own life. Many people have written to me in a similar vein. Thank you, once again. Kindest regards Alan