[ Contents | Search | Post | Reply | Next | Previous | Up ]
From: Alan (to Cynthia)
Date: 17 Oct 2009
Time: 13:42:04 -0500
Remote Name: 84.71.219.74
Hi Cynthia, I am most grateful to you for taking the time to read my paper and provide feedback. You posed the following questions: Question 1: I was particularly interested in asking you to expand a bit on how you dealt with "reprograming" your self-image. Answer: I consciously began re-programming my self-image in 2000, so it may be a little difficult to recall everything that I have done during the past nine years. :-) I remember initially asking myself to identify the roles that I wished I could fulfil had I not stuttered. One that readily came to mind was public speaking. I always admired those who had the confidence to stand up and speak in front of an audience. I wanted to emulate them, yet (with a few exceptions) I shunned such opportunities, justifying my avoidance by the fact that I stuttered. In order to challenge my disempowering belief (and narrow self-image), I decided to join three public speaking clubs under the umbrella of the Association of Speakers Clubs (similar to Toastmasters International). I knew that I had to face my fears – I needed to do what I thought I could not do. I was afforded opportunities to give prepared and impromptu speeches, as well as chairing meetings and evaluating the speeches of fellow members. I gained immensely in confidence and, within a relatively short period of time, I began winning contests in competition with fluent speakers. Modesty forbids me to mention how many trophies I have since won – I’ll simply say that I’ve derived great satisfaction polishing the various items of silverware that have adorned our home during recent times. :-) These successes encouraged me to challenge myself even further by venturing out into the general community. Today, I receive numerous requests to speak before a wide variety of audiences and already have confirmed engagements as far ahead as December 2010. The point I am attempting to make is that I now fully accept myself as a public speaker – such a role lies comfortably within my self-image (I have fulfilled it on so many occasions). The continuing invitations (from a wide array of sources) provide confirmation that others also view me in that light. There were additional areas of my life that I felt I needed to change. For example, I wanted to become more assertive; I wanted to display greater openness about my stuttering; I wanted to abandon my avoidance strategies and I wanted to gain greater confidence while using the telephone (there were many more). Having identified the changes I wished to make, I simply made them happen. Quite obviously, there is insufficient time to enlarge upon these matters in this threaded discussion. However, you may wish to glean more by reading some of my other online articles: (1) ‘STEP OUTSIDE: Why expanding comfort zones can improve our stuttering and lead to more fulfilling lives: http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/isad6/papers/badmington6.html (2) STUTTERING IS NOT JUST A SPEECH PROBLEM http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/kuster/Infostuttering/badmington.pdf (3) HOW I CHANGED MY STUTTERING MINDSET http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/isad8/papers/badmington8.html (4) TECHNOLOGY : A friend or foe of someone who stutters http://www.mnsu.edu/comdis/isad9/papers/badmington9.html Question 2: Were there techniques that were especially influential in helping you to improve your self-efficacy? Such as journal writing, which is often used to help people acknowledge negative thoughts so that they may "restory" and learn how to approach situations in a new, more positive way. Answer: I tended to use positive affirmations such as “I am a confident speaker in any situation” and “I am able to deal with whatever challenge life presents”. By regularly repeating those words (in the present tense) I convinced myself that I had already attained such qualities/attributes/abilities. As mentioned in my ISAD online conference paper, I also practised creative visualization that duped my subconscious into believing that I had already successfully undertaken certain tasks/roles. These positive images eliminated anticipatory fear – allowing me to enter speaking situations with immense confidence. I genuinely believe that I have the resources to cope with anything that I encounter. My decision to change the direction of my life fortuitously coincided with my acquisition of a personal computer. During the past nine years, I have been extremely active in several international stuttering-related Internet groups. This has allowed me to share my experiences with people in all parts of the world. Some people might consider the concept of speaking/writing about our successes to be a little egotistical. While respecting their views, my feelings are in stark contrast. Throughout my life, I constantly reminded myself of the many negative experiences that I had encountered as a result of my stutter. Those memories shaped my thoughts - creating anticipatory fear when I had occasion to speak in similar situations (or say the words that held an emotional charge). During recent years, I have reversed the process and now take every opportunity to remind myself of what I have achieved. When I recount the successes in my own mind, or share them with others, it has the effect of providing positive reinforcement. On occasions, I have used those memories to create a positive frame of mind when entering challenging speaking situations. Sharing our successes on a forum such as this can also encourage (and inspire) others to similarly expand their comfort zones and tread less familiar paths. Such stories offer first-hand evidence that persons who stutter are able to live expansive and fulfilling lives. Others can attempt to do likewise IF THEY SO CHOOSE. The highly positive feedback that I receive from my public speaking activities has also helped to improve (and sustain) my self-efficacy. However, I am well aware that we should never be dependent upon the approbation/approval of others. Our feelings of self-worth must come from within. As Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote: “What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” Cynthia, I really must stop at this point as my fingertips are becoming tender and the keyboard is objecting to the pounding that it is receiving. :-) I hope that you will find something of interest in my lengthy response. Thank you, once again, for your valued contribution. Kindest regards Alan