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From: Anita
Date: 01 Oct 2009
Time: 15:42:43 -0500
Remote Name: 217.209.3.225
Hi Pam and thanks for your comments. I too was quite for years, hiding, being silent, and... hating every minute of it. And of course I still have fears. I think we all have. And that's ok. Fear keeps us from getting hurt. As long as it's not keeping us from living our lives to the full. But you can only work with fears if you ackowledge them. Sometimes it just hits me, sometimes I feel it coming. Like being in a group of teenagers, speaking fast, speaking to 10 people at the same time, or people who know everything better. And we're amazing at feeling the vibes as soon as we enter a room or meet people, right? So I choose my battle. If I want to speak, I fight my fear. But sometimes I just acknowledge that the situation is tough and that I'd rather not take up the fight. Again, like training. Before my wedding I went on this cole diet. Lost lots of weight, smelled like *bip* but looked good in my dress. Right now I have other problems, so training is not number one right now. And that's ok. But now I know that if I want to speak, I say my say, no matter what. And that alone feels good enough to still love myself when I prefer not to fight the fight. Do I make sense? Anita