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From: Anita
Date: 05 Oct 2009
Time: 10:30:34 -0500
Remote Name: 83.223.9.17
Good to see you here this year as well! Yes stuttering, blocks and the way we (re)act (or don't) gives people another picture from us than we really are. So many people stil don't recognize and/or understand what stuttering is all about. But what are we fearful of? To be rejected? If people reject us for our speech, are they worth even talking to? To be interrupted? Well, if they do, can't we just tell them not to? To be judged? Yes, they probably will. I just came back from a weekend about body language and the first moments ARE crucial. Not the words we speak, but how we speak, how we look, our body language etc. But we too judge other people. Why do we think other people think less of us as soon as our first stuttering words leave our mouthes? Can't it be that they simply don't know what's going on, or how to react? Are we sure that stuttering is as big of a problem to others as it is to us? Are you sure people don't think you're nice, warm and smiling from the heart? Or are they simply not educated enough to know how to approach this lovely woman? If you would talk to someone who appears nice, but who suddenly starts to take out to polish her glass eye, would you think "Well, this person lost all her bonus. What a dissapointment! What if it's contagious. Let's ignore this dreadful person." Or would you think "Wow, that's the last thing I expected, but hey, if she doesn't care, why would I?" The phone is harder, as the other person doesn't see your body language. But you still have the tone of your voice and you still CAN say words that show you're nice, such as "Hi" "Good afternoon" or something similar. Or different starters like "my name is..." or "hey, it's me, ..." And are you sure their voices change because they think you are rude? My point is: it DOES matter what others think, as we all want to be loved, liked or approved. BUT we should stop telling ourselves we KNOW what the other person thinks, as WE DON'T KNOW!!! And we are experts on finding the worst scenario ever. Do we judge people on the instant? If no, are we the only ones wo don't? Is the reaction you get really a judgement tearing down all your personality, or might it be their own fear not knowing what to do? If it's the latter, there's only one thing to do: Keep talking! And use the universal body language trick that gets everyone into a better mood: smile. :-) Good luck! Anita To me, I see a reflection of myself in their eyes and it's impossible not to register.