Dealing with Fear: Exercises and Persistence

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Dealing with Fear

From: Dave Williams
Date: 15 Oct 2009
Time: 15:31:24 -0500
Remote Name: 98.219.124.61

Comments

Anita, I really enjoyed your article. I couldn't agree more with everything you said about fear and stuttering. Many years ago I concluded that if I had no fear of stuttering, my stuttering would be nothing more than a nuisance, an irritating habit that was rather frustrating because it sometimes interfered with conversation. If I made a list of the worst speaking experiences I've ever had in my life, they would all involve fear of stuttering. I began to stutter around the age of 9, but I had a fear of speaking before that. In the first grade (age 6) the teacher callewd on me to read aloud from our primer one day. But before my turn to read, I had slipped my book inside my desk. When she asked me to read, I said I couldn't read because I had left my book at home. She was about to call on the next pupil when a classmate sitting across from me called out, "No he didn't, Miss Bishop! I saw him hide his book in his desk!" Well, Miss Bishop called me up to her desk and asked why I had told her a fib (lie). I was too scared to tell her that I was afraid of reading aloud. So she sent me to the coat room as punishment. When the recess bell rang, she let me go out to the playground with the other kids. I was still petrified with fear, imagining what would happen when I went back into the school. I would be sent down to the principal's office, where I would probably get a paddling from Mr. Lee, the principal. I was so scared that when the bell rang for us to return to our classroom, I left the playground and started walking the six blocks home. When I got home, my mother asked why I was home so early. I mumbled something, but there my memory fades out. That was the beginning of years of fear of speaking in public, of talking on the telephone, and any other situation where I might have to reveal my stuttering. But gradually I overcame those fears and more and more of my stuttering. For quite a few years now, I have lost all my fear and nearly all of my stuttering. I would guess that I'm 99% fluent, and it feels wonderful. I revel in my freedom! I no longer avoid because there's nothing to avoid. I don't plan how to talk---I just talk. I dearly wish I could write down exactly how all this happened, but I can't be certain. I had a good deal of speech therapy, but there's something more than that. I feel it's because I matured and lost all my fear of people. I now know that everyone else is just like me. We're all hurting from something or other, we all feel vulnerable , we feel (and are) defenseless against many things.So I'm just one of the crowd, and they are one of me, and there's nothing to fear or hide from being in contact with them. I've always had more of an 'approach' attitude toward people than an 'avoidance' attitude, even when my stuttering was at its worst. I like to talk. In fact, people must occasionally feel that I have attacks of verbal diarrhea. I seem to be having one now, so I think I should sign off..... Anyway, I like what you say, and I wish you all the best. I would welcome any comments or questions you may have about anything I've said. Dave


Last changed: 10/15/09