Hello My Name is Cathy, But You Can Call Me Anne

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I'm Cathy. but you can call me Anne.

From: Dave Williams
Date: 18 Oct 2009
Time: 12:16:54 -0500
Remote Name: 98.219.124.61

Comments

Your article rang a whole bunch of bells for me. Oh, the gyrations and mental convolutions we go through when trying to conceal or avoid stuttering!When I was about 9 or 10, I went to a Sunday School for the first time. The teacher went around the class asking each kid his or her name (always a terrifying situation for me). My anxiety skyrocketed, and when he asked me my name, I couldn't even try to say "Dave", but I had to say something and I couldn't lie. In sheer panic I blurted out, "Mr. Williams." He gave me a quizzical look, and I was flooded with shame and guilt...I thought he must regard me as a weird, arrogant, smart-aleck jerk. A few years later, my mother was trying to light the oven of the gas range in our kitchen with a match. Accumulated gas in the oven flashed up and burned her hand. She was in great pain. We were alone, and my first thought was that now I'd have to phone for help. After a minute, mother said "Call Dix Dawson and ask if he can help me." Dix, a pharmacist and friend of my older brother, had a shop a few blocks away. Instantly I was in emotional turmoil. I knew I had to phone Dix, but I was terrified of having to make the call. I said, "Do we have anything in the house that we can put on your hand?" She said, "No, and this is hurting bad. Call Dix." So with trembling fingers I looked up the number in the directory and dialed. When Dix answered, I struggled to tell him what had happened, forcing out every word. When he understood the situation, he said he would bring something right out that would ease the pain. He arrived shortly and took care of her burned hand. My fear and panic subsided. but I continued to feel guilty because I was so slow and fearful when mother needed instant help. I know how you felt when you said "Here I was worried about my speech when two members of my immediate family were barely alive," It would be fascinating to compile a list of the things people do to hide their stuttering, and the consequences that follow. They would certainly range from tragic to comic. As you indicate, it's almost incredible how powerful that desire is to avoid and conceal stuttering. Like you, I've had teachers and other people not realize for a long time that I stutter. The thought just occurred to me---we stutterers get so adept at pretending to be something we're not that maybe we'd make excellent spies and secret agents. James Bond please step aside and let a real expert take over!


Last changed: 10/18/09