[ Contents | Search | Next | Previous | Up ]
From: Michael Retzinger
Date: 08 Oct 2009
Time: 14:48:46 -0500
Remote Name: 76.229.233.81
Pam - Really an interesting situation you share. Charlie's response was intersting as well. Sounds like you are handling it effectively. I know I'm not one of the professional experts here, but I am a person who stutters. Just my thoughts --- As a youngster and young man between the ages of,oh,5 and 17, I was - on numerous occasions - bullied, verbally ridiculed, slapped up, beat up and subject to some really intentional, terribly embarrassing, and purposefully hurt filled emotional, mental and physical behaviors from peers because of my stuttering. I was an easy target. I grew afraid because of this, and turned coward, cried and ran as I got older. But as bad as that garbage that was inflicted on me was, the thing that hurt me the most was that I didn't fight back... Everything in me as a guy knew I should fight back, but I was so afraid that I'd let others hurt me. My "man" insticts as a child, youngster and adolescent were squashed by fear. When I was 18, I had a life changing experience regarding this situation and stuttering. By the time I was 18, I had physically grown up quite a bit and had developed an "I don't give a s***" attitude. I was in a situation where a group of guys was attempting to bully me because of my stuttering, and I responded with my fists. I proceeded to do a pretty good job of inflicting some serious pain on the bastards, and ended up going to jail. Contrary to what one might think, the "jail result" was one of the best things that ever happened to me to change my view of having a "victim" mentality. As I sat in the cell, I knew I had stood up to it and didn't run, coward or cry. I smiled quite a bit at myself in that cell. I knew from that moment on nobody was going to be able to make fun of me because of my stuttering ever again without having to pay a price. I was never so proud of myself as when my dad said to me "It's about time you did that; I'm glad you did.' Then he sent me some money for bail!!!! After many years, I've come to feel sorry for that particular group of guys, as I recognize I made them pay for all the pain I had stored up all those years. I'm all for figuring stuff out and being nice, but I also know a good slap upside the head or a direct blow to the nose of the one (s) bullying seems to be very effective during the moment of anothers "negative comments" towards me about my stuttering. I have a "3 time" rule now... I'm nice the first time... I am more verbally direct the 2nd time... Third time, you gotta know s*** gonna happen. I know this flies in the face of what is being proposed as the "politically correct" response to bullying. I can only say this has been my experience, and it was the most positive effect for me personally in changing my "victim" mentality regarding bullying about stuttering. It is one of my "Frozen Moments."