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From: Harrry Dhillon
Date: 04 Oct 2010
Time: 03:11:21 -0500
Remote Name: 90.199.68.37
Hi Rosemary, Thank you so much for the insightful and supportive comments. You've asked some very thought-provoking questions! "Now that you have achieved public recognition of your communication skills are you able to trust your own judgment about how effectively you have communicated? " Yes, a lot more than in the past. Of course, I still have a long way to go, because I still often beat myself up a little more than I would like. For example, when giving a workshop recently on "Essentials of Public Speaking", I had a severe block just once in over an hour of speaking, and I felt aferwards, I was still focusing disproportionally on that one incident, and ignoring the other hundreds of words which came out with great ease. A change in thinking - especially reduction in negative thinking - is the way forward for me personally. "are there times when you can forget the whole business of judging yourself and just enjoy being with people without the fear, need to excel etc? " Yes! It's actually happened a few times now where I have 'lost' myself in the conversation, and not given any meaning to my blocks and hesitations, and focused instead on the message I'm getting across. It's a very liberatig feeling. However, it doesn't happen as often as I'd like, and in fact for the past 6 months, this has been my main goal....to acheive not "fluent" speech, but "carefree" speech....where I don't care about how the words come out too much, as long as I can convey my thoughts in a dignified and clear way. I've become a lot more desensitised, and am happy to mention to new people that I stutter. By writing this very article, I have indulged in self-disclosure at a level I barely thought possible for me. I guess the ideal situation for all of us, regardless of whether we have a stutter or not, is to develop teflon-coated self-esteem. Then whatever life throws at us, we can cope with it, we can deal with it, and we can stand with our head held high in any company, and be proud in the knowledge that we are no better or no worse than anyone else. Thanks Rosemary for your positve comments, and it was a pleasure to have met you 2 yars ago in Cardiff. Take care. Harry