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From: David Steiner
Date: 01 Oct 2010
Time: 15:09:29 -0500
Remote Name: 149.101.1.117
Many aspects of life present themselves as journeys. I wonder, however, if this is really one of them. I have been active in the Stuttering Community in one form or another since the 1980's, and while I have met hundreds of stutterers who say that they are covert, I've only met one who really was. In every other case, the only person the "covert" stutterer was fooling was him/herself. Of course, when one comes out and tells one's friends or family that one stutters, the invariable reaction will be "I never would have guessed!" or "You don't stutter!" or something of that sort. I get that all the time and I stutter severely. Nevertheless, for much of my young life I would try to hide my stutter in all the usual ways, changing words, avoiding topics, whatatever. But my friends certainly knew I stuttered. I decided eventually to open up about it, slowly, by dipping my toe in the water of self-actualization. I mentioned to certain people that I stuttered and got all that "No you don't" nonsense. But my "opening up" was always guarded. I began to realize that while there are many journeys in life, this simply wasn't one of them. I was never going to become more and more open. I was either going to be open about it or I was not. Therefore, I just let the whole guarded thing drop. I put up an "Expert Stutterer" certificate in my office, I started wearing stuttering t-shirts and wristbands from NSA, I would tell my co-workers when I was going to stuttering conferences. Moreover, when I went to court (I'm a lawyer) or took a deposition, the first thing that I would say is that I stutter. Upshot, I think that this is one of those journeys which has no distance, its beginning is its end.