Dealing with Chronic Sorrow and the Loss of a "Fluent Child" (a personal story)

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Re: Powerful and moving

From: Pam
Date: 05 Oct 2010
Time: 10:41:55 -0500
Remote Name: 163.153.6.70

Comments

Jaime, thanks for jumping in on the conversation. You wrote: "It seems sometimes like the whole attitude is..."get over it," but I guess I wonder...does that help? Is that possible? I am curious about your thoughts!" **** I don't think that is possible. Society may think we should get over it, but that is also why we have so many people who are not in touch with themselves, their true self, thier inner core. When yuo are not in touch with that, I find it is very hard to be present with another. Being the oldest of 6 from an alcoholic family and having a "defect" as implied by my father, I grew up thinking I had to be perfect in order to compensate for my stuttering and in some way, to hold my family together. In many ways, I was the wife and mother by 9 years old. We were not allowed to cry, we would be punished in fact, and actually we grew up emotionless, hardly ever expressing any emotion, good or bad. I never remember my parents hugging us or telling us they loved us. So now, as an adult, who was covert with stuttering and emotions, I find it very challenging to appear vulnerable at all with anyone, as I am just not used to it. Like you, I have not arrived at answers yet . . . but most definitely on the journey. I have had the good fortune to have some very inspiring people come into my life, which has helped me find room to present and express my inner me. I sued to always be afraid of not liking that inner me, but the more I spend time with her, feelings and stuttering, the more I find I like her. If you are interested, I have been blogging about my experiences with being a woman who stutters, and I often delve right into those hard-to-face feelings. I'd love for you to check it out: www.stutterrockstar.wordpress.com ***** Thanks for the interest and for sharing your insight as well. Thats what I love about these conferences, if you choose, you can really share and learn!


Last changed: 10/05/10