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From: Scott Palasik
Date: 08 Oct 2010
Time: 17:32:58 -0500
Remote Name: 131.95.172.211
Ross, Hi! Thank you for writing! You ask great questions, can I ask you just a few (I like to get to know people I talk with, no hard questions I promise). What do you do for a living? Do you stutter? What do you value in life (e.g., I value being a kind person to myself and others)... As for your questions, they are great. Something I have found (through observations of great models and just experience with parents and people as a whole) is that we ALL can relieve anxiety (which is what chronic sorrow could be seen as) with education. With respect to stuttering, I always try to get parents involved by first providing them with a TON of education (books, pamphlets, videos). I have found that when you talk "WITH" parents you, well, talk "with" them and not "at" them. Using phrases like "you need to" or "you should" are setting up mental "rules" in the parents head that if they don't do something they "fail" again (not good!!). This doesn't help with the chronic sorrow patterns discussed in the article. Words and phrase we CAN use are "we", "can", "us". The word "We" can comfort a parent because it symbolizes a "Team" ("us" does the same thing). It also lets the parent know that the therapist is not leaving them, the parents are not a lone in their struggles, and that the parent's thoughts are valid and can be heard. An important word to use is "can". "Can" is great because it gives people (parents and us) options. For example, "We need to start doing fluency shaping to improve the stuttering moments" or "We can start to do fluency shaping to improve the stuttering moments" When you read those two sentences you may feel a sense of relief with the second, that is only because now we have provided a word that symbolizes options. It is good to present information and techniques as just that, options that we think would be benefit the client. Let me see if I can get back to your questions now (I tend to ramble when I talk about counseling and the psychological and social cognitive aspects of stuttering)...You can totally spend time with just the parents. The simple truth is we might see clients 1-2 hours/ week (average) and parents spend many many many more hours with their children then that. Counseling parents and educating parents is as important as the client them self! Your last question about bringing in parents to therapy WITH the child is a great one (thanks for asking). What I like to do is separate the client and the parent's sessions at first so that I can build rapport and get them both on the same page (acceptance of stuttering and education) so that when we do get them in the therapy room WE are ALL acting with the same intensions with little anxiety. Really, it is up to the clinical judgment of the therapist.....I hope I've answered your questions Ross. Thank you for writing and please let me know if there is anything else I can answer and please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences....Have a great day! Scott