Dealing with Chronic Sorrow and the Loss of a "Fluent Child" (a personal story)

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Re: Counseling Advice

From: Jaime Hannan
Date: 09 Oct 2010
Time: 15:54:41 -0500
Remote Name: 74.83.213.115

Comments

Hi Jen! First, congratulations on choosing such a wonderful career! Being an SLP is amazing! Do you have any idea what type of setting you would like to work in after you graduate? You asked some very good questions and ones that I wondered about when I began using a counseling approach when working with my clients and their families. At first, I was a little nervous that I was "overstepping" our scope of practice or that I may make the family feel as though I was "putting my nose somewhere where it did not belong." However, I soon realized that both my clients and their families had a lot to say and had been looking for someone to listen for a long time. I think the most important thing that I realized was that each client/family that I worked with (whether stuttering or any other communication disorder) was different, but that as I got to know them...and really listened to both what they were saying and what they were not saying...they often let me know what they needed. Sometimes this would take months and months to figure out...and sometimes I would ask the "wrong" questions or say the "wrong" thing...but when you genuinely want to help others - they can see that - and that is what matters. Here are some other things that I realized/learned...just wanted to share them. I realized that sometimes I need to take a different approach with the client than I do with their family memebers - often times they are in very different places or have very different issues/concerns that they are struggling with. Because of this, I often see my clients separate from their family members - at least at the beginning. Often times the clients will open up more without their family members around...and the same is often true for the family members. I know that this is often difficult to do logistically (with the family members, since you see the client during the session), but sometimes you can plan a phone conversation with a family member or have a co-worker talk with your client for a small portion of your session. I also realized how important it is to really listen and to let your client or the family member take the lead. You may choose to guide them at times; however, they are the experts - they know a lot about their struggles and you can learn so much from them (both about how to help them...and also about yourself too). I think the most important lesson that I learned was to be flexible. I would try to "plan" a lot of my sessions beforehand; however, I realized that we often did not get to one of things that I had planned. At first that overwhelmed me, but soon I got more comfortable...both with thinking on my feet, as well as following the client's lead or admitting when I did not know how to respond. I then began to make a list of topics that I wanted to bring up and I would think through that list beforehand...and then try to set a goal in my head for the session. I would let it go where it went, while also having my overall goal in mind. I think that some of my best sessions were when my client or his/her family member lead the session in a direction that I never imagined...but knew that because I followed their lead...they were able to take steps that they may not have felt comfortable or able to take had I had my own agenda. I hope this makes sense. Let me know if you have any other questions! Jaime.


Last changed: 10/09/10