Dealing with Chronic Sorrow and the Loss of a "Fluent Child" (a personal story)

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Re: Working with Families

From: Scott Palasik
Date: 14 Oct 2010
Time: 09:34:04 -0500
Remote Name: 131.95.172.211

Comments

Erin, HI! What university do you go to? Welcome to the field, I hope you enjoy it as much as Jaime and I do! Great question about what to tell parents to ease there minds. Parents who seek "concrete answers" will most of the times be the most challenging parents (I say this with the most loving kindness and not in a negative way). When I say challenging I mean the most "challenging for themselves" because they come with thoughts that they are holding on to so tight that they don't want to let go. Thought like, "I hope my child stops soon.", "It hurts me to see them stutter, please make it stop.", "I hope we can fix this before they start school.", "What if they get teased, I don't want them to get teased.", "This is my fault, I know it." The reason for this is because they are most of the time trying to find answers to validate these thoughts, or really trying to "fix" stuttering, make it go away...We can not give them "concrete" answers because stuttering is not concrete. We can be honest with them, let them know what we know: stuttering has no cure, has no known cause, it effects everyone uniquely, we have ways to help, and parents are NOT TO BLAME. The most concrete lessons we can give parents to guide them through acceptance and that does not always come with answers. Those who seek "concrete answers" may be those who look at life as black and white and they are may be people who "fear" the "unknown"... Being afraid of the unknown leads to more anxiety than we know what to do with which could be why parents get stuck in chronic sorrow and have difficulty getting to "Acceptance"...That all being said, what we have to offer parents is support with our education (knowledge), support with our counseling (listening, accepting their thoughts as valid, guiding them through messy thoughts), and our best to help their child with accepting their speech and maybe teach them a few tricks to help relax the speech so we build off of moments of more fluent moments....I hope this answered you question, as you can tell both Jaime and I tend to be wordy, that is our passion for this topic and for helping parents and children of all ages. Please feel free to write again, ask questions, or share ANY thoughts you have. Have a great day! Scott


Last changed: 10/14/10