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From: Alan (to Carla)
Date: 03 Oct 2011
Time: 10:28:56 -0500
Remote Name: 95.144.68.2
Hi Carla, I am most grateful to you for responding to my paper. We live our lives in accordance with our belief system and our self-concept. What we believe (and how we see ourselves) colours how we think. Correspondingly, our thoughts influence our behaviours and emotions. Persons who stutter (and, indeed, those who do not stutter) develop a mental blue-print of themselves. This personal concept is influenced by what they consider to be their failures and successes; their strengths and weaknesses; their competency and worth; and the way in which others have reacted towards them. Our thoughts, feelings and behaviours are consistent with that self-determined identity, irrespective of the reality of that image. Our personal opinions about ourselves are more influential than facts. As I mentioned in my paper, our beliefs and self-image create the script by which we act out our lives - they set the boundaries to our accomplishments. Throughout my life, everything I did was in accordance with what I believed about myself and what I thought I was able to do. These views restricted me from undertaking many things that I considered lay outside my scope. If we fail to confront our disempowering beliefs, they can imprison us. I admired (and had dreams of emulating) those who appeared at ease in front of an audience. Yet, I always shunned public speaking, justifying my avoidance by the fact that I stuttered. I could never envisage successfully fulfilling that role. Such beliefs confine us - they shape our expectations, influence our attitudes and limit our future attainments. If we believe that we will encounter difficulties while ordering a beer (or meal), then we may allow others to make the purchase on our behalf. If we convince ourselves that we will struggle to say a particular word, we will probably substitute it with another. If we think of ourselves as inept in a particular area, and continuously reinforce that view with negative language, we will act out that viewpoint and substantiate our belief. But behaviours are not changed by retaining the status quo. We need to widen our self-concept to accommodate the new behaviours and roles; otherwise our existing self-image will continue to impose its restrictions. Although our long-established beliefs may be deeply entrenched, it is important to understand that they are NOT set in stone. The realisation that I could reappraise (and adjust) my beliefs was hugely empowering and a cornerstone of the advances I have made during recent times. Thomas Edison wrote: "If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves." I, wholeheartedly, agree. For so many years, I was oblivious to my true potential - sacrificing my aspirations for the false illusion of comfort and safety. When I took charge of my thoughts, and systematically exposed myself to risks, I created the perfect antidote for the debilitating effects of fear and self-doubt. During recent years I have achieved things that, for most of my life, I considered impossible. Public speaking has now become an integral and exciting part of my life. Stepping outside my comfort zone, and treading less familiar paths, has greatly enhanced my existence. Reading about the lives of other PWS can provide an interesting insight into how they deal (or have dealt) with their respective difficulties, as well as offering reciprocal inspiration. It can also alert us to possibilities of which we were previously unaware – in relation to therapies, techniques and opportunities that allow us to unearth our true potential when we are prepared to expose ourselves to uncertainty and change. In effect, it can open our eyes to possibilities that we could never have imagined. Incidentally, during the past 10 years, I have undertaken an extensive series of talks (well in excess of 300) to community organizations in an attempt to increase public awareness about stuttering. I generally speak for an hour about my lifetime of stuttering, giving numerous examples of the difficulties that I have encountered. My talk is entitled "Lost for Words". Although 99% of the people in the audiences do not stutter, I have learned that many are subjected to trials and tribulations within their own lives. Ironically, after hearing my story, they confide that they are inspired to confront their own fears and adversities. I find this so heartening. Thank you, once again for contributing. Kindest regards Alan