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From: Alan (to Art)
Date: 22 Oct 2011
Time: 16:02:54 -0500
Remote Name: 95.144.72.117
Hi Art, Thank you for taking the time to read my paper and provide feedback. It’s always a pleasure to hear from you. I’m delighted that you (and your chapter members) find my ISAD papers of interest. I very much look forward to writing them because it causes me to re-evaluate the exciting paths that I have trodden. I have benefited immensely from sharing my stories/challenges over the years, via online discussion groups, self-help organisations and forums such as this. Relating those incidents has had a very powerful impact upon me. Each time I relive a successful occurrence, it reaffirms what I have achieved. I genuinely believe that my progress has been helped considerably by the fact that I have been able to tell myself (and others) about the positive experiences I have enjoyed. Some people may be of the opinion (and it’s their prerogative to think whatever they choose) that speaking about one’s successes is egotistical. Well, I happen to hold an opposing view. That has certainly not been my motivation for sharing. It’s simply that re-living the successful episodes strengthens my memories of those events. When we savour and foster positive experiences, it intensifies our positive responses to them. The longer something is held in our awareness, the more emotionally stimulating it becomes. Since early childhood, my stuttering was fuelled and perpetuated by the difficulties, setbacks, pain and catalogue of lost opportunities that I encountered. For over half a century, I constantly reminded myself of what I could NOT do, or the dire consequences of attempting to speak in certain situations. I spent a lifetime accumulating, recounting and giving far too much prominence to the memories of negative speaking experiences. As a result, my stutter flourished and thrived. The more I nourished and sustained it, the more it impacted upon my daily existence. I make no excuse for having reversed that trait. In direct contrast, I now constantly remind myself of my successes. I truly believe that you should never shirk from telling yourself how much you have achieved. Reading about the experiences of other PWS can provide us with an interesting insight into how they deal (or have dealt) with their respective difficulties, as well as offering reciprocal inspiration. It can also alert us to possibilities of which we were previously unaware – in relation to therapies, techniques and opportunities that allow us to unearth our true potential when we are prepared to expose ourselves to uncertainty and change. In effect, it can open our eyes to possibilities that we could never have imagined. Fear and self-doubt figure prominently in the lives of many people, not just those who stutter. They can sabotage hopes and aspirations. When left to our own devices, it is possible that we may never summon up sufficient courage to confront the issues that are impeding our progress, thus causing us to exclude ourselves from participating widely on life’s stage. However, upon learning about the expansive lifestyles of other PWS, some people gain confidence and encouragement. If they happen to be members of an Internet discussion forum, or self-help group, they are also able to lean upon the knowledge, camaraderie and collective support that exist within that gathering. As a result of these online interactions, and the revealing evaluations that we retrospectively conduct, many of us now possess a far greater understanding of the issues that shape our lives. We are also better informed about how we (and others) react to the diverse challenges that confront us, and have discovered that there are exciting and fulfilling paths available for us to tread. But, perhaps, most importantly, we know that we need never again experience the isolation of walking those unfamiliar paths alone. You made reference to my in-depth posts. As I explained to an earlier correspondent, I do my best to provide a meaningful response to everyone who contributes to the threaded discussion. Having spent time reading my paper and supplying feedback, I feel that they deserve the respect of a worthwhile reply. I’m heartened to learn that you have benefited from your Toastmasters’ experiences. Unfortunately, my busy programme of speaking engagements has precluded me from attending (the equivalent organisation here in the UK) for several years. In the days when I had time to participate, I found that I was able to transfer the confidence that I gained (at those meetings) into the real world. Art, keep taking those ‘baby steps’ and seeking out new challenges. Continue venturing into uncharted waters by treading unfamiliar paths. But, remember to progress at your own pace and don’t fall into the trap of comparing yourself with others – we are all unique. I look forward to chatting with you when an opportunity presents itself. Kindest regards Alan