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Re: Advice on Confidence for Teens

From: Sarah Bryant
Date: 18 Oct 2011
Time: 08:49:29 -0500
Remote Name: 96.253.114.105

Comments

By putting myself out there as someone who stutters, I began to realize that most people don’t care about the fact that I stutter (those that due aren’t worth your time) This discovery started with advertising that I stutter on the phone calls. I thought if I acknowledged that I stuttered to people that somehow my world would crumble. I would call a store to ask what time they closed. Now, let me say, just picking up and dialing the phone was very hard. I used to avoid the phone at all cost. Once I mustered the courage to pick up and dial the number, I said I stutter so you might hear some pauses in my speech. After I advertised, pretty much every time the other person would say something like, no problem, take your time, ect. It was after doing that over and over I realized that most people really don’t care that I stutter. Realizing that was SO INCREDIBLY HUGE!!! It was ME who was so obsessed over it. I advertised the way I did because I had so much struggle in my speak getting anything to come out with immensely difficult. I would try and speak and just block. The more I disclosed that I stuttered I learned it was OK to stutter. Doing something I feared and finding that I didn’t die from it was such a cool feeling too. Also, when I started saying exactly what I wanted (not substituting, circumlocution, ect) started building confidence and learning what I had to say was important even though I stuttered. Something very important I’ve learned in speech therapy is “YOU and changed by what you DO.” This requires you to face your fears. This requires a lot of support from lots of people. For example: When ordering at a restaurant look at the waitress, and maintain eye contact (and not look down at the menu- I used to do that a lot). The success there is maintaining eye contact while stuttering, and DO NOT let the other person finish the sentence. They are going to think what they want anyway. You can’t control what people think about. This is also very important. When I stutter in front of someone they are going to think what they want. I have to let go of trying to control it. Like I said, most people don’t care, and they will see the person behind the stuttering. What I would have liked to be told as a teenager is 1. It’s okay to stutter, 2. What I have to say is just as important as anyone else, 3. I’m a valued person, and not less of person. I thought I was just worthless because I stuttered. As far as being teased, I am not equipped to answer that question. I was not teased in school to my face. That being said, I didn’t talk in class or anytime I didn’t have to. I did give my presentations. So my classmates knew that I stuttered. I never heard any snickers, laughs, ect. I realize I was very lucky in that respect. One suggestion to try may be to just walk away. I would also suggest posing this question to the “Profs are In.” Let me know if I didn’t fully answer your questions. Thanks for asking such great questions!


Last changed: 10/18/11