Notes from a Stuttering "Expert"

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Re: Pain diversion

From: Vince Vawter
Date: 02 Oct 2011
Time: 14:47:07 -0500
Remote Name: 67.187.126.12

Comments

During my junior high (middle school) and early high school years, being asked to read aloud or recite in class was my horror of all horrors. Once when I was asked to read I happened to have a thumb tack in my hand. It seemed I was always "fiddling" with something like that. As I started reading I made a fist with my hand and I could feel the sharp point on the thumb tack. I began to push harder. It seemed that the pain in my hand was almost a welcome relief from the pain I felt with my stutter. When I had finished reading I opened up my palm and looked at my bloody hand. For the next several years, perhaps until I was a sophomore in high school, I kept something sharp in my pocket at school in case I needed something to divert me from the pain of my stutter. I remember carrying around a small sharp rock for a long time. I don't think I ever drew blood again, but I did use the technique several more times. It may be hard for a fluent person to conceive of this odd behavior, but in those years I had only survival in mind. I would be interested to know if anyone else had a similar experience, trying to replace the psychological pain of stuttering with a physical pain?


Last changed: 10/02/11