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From: Alan (to Sheryl)
Date: 12 Oct 2012
Time: 16:50:04 -0500
Remote Name: 95.144.98.186
Hi Sheryl, Thank you, so much, for taking the time to read my paper and provide feedback. When I initially took an interest in online discussion groups (back in 2000), I had the best of both worlds. My principal means of communicating with other PWS (worldwide) was via the WRITTEN word. As I explained in my paper, I would either respond to posts that had been generated by other members of a specific group, or I would initiate new subjects for discussion. At that time, Yahoo also provided voice chat rooms that enabled interaction by means of the SPOKEN word. These facilities were available 24/7. All I had to do was to log in and see who else was waiting in the chat room. Every Sunday, the group would organise a collective chat at a determined time. Very often, 18-20 members (drawn from several different continents) would congregate and chatter. :-) I gained immense confidence from such meetings. Some members were a little reluctant to participate during the initial stages but they soon came ‘out of their shell’ as time progressed. It was also a safe environment in which to practise techniques/tools, rehearse presentations, share experiences or simply talk about anything under the sun. It also allowed us to improve our conversational skills. Sadly, Yahoo made the decision to close all voice chat rooms around about 2005. However, it is to my knowledge that some PWS regularly engage in online conversation via Skype. This is particularly useful for those who may reside in remote areas, or are unable to attend a ‘live’ support group. Whilst my conference paper extols the benefits that I have derived as a result of my written participation in Internet discussion groups, I would like to stress that the greatest gains were achieved by meeting (and conversing with) persons face to face. We don’t change behaviours by retaining the status quo. Taking action does not guarantee success, but not taking action almost certainly ensures that our lives will remain the same. I realised that I had a choice - do nothing, or do something. It was only when I became proactive that I made things happen. You can read as many books/articles/emails/posts as you wish; you can subject yourself to whatever kind of therapy or approach that you may choose; you can acquire a multitude of tools, join every available Internet group, and gain as wide an understanding of the subject as you are able. But that is not enough. You still need to put into practice what you have learned- and that means TALKING.:-) You need to place yourself in the very situations where you experience difficulties. You need to remove yourself from your safe environment, face your fears, expand your comfort zones and tread unfamiliar paths. You need to do the things you think you cannot do. That particular plan of action worked for me, although (as I mentioned in my paper) we are all unique. I fully appreciate that we are at different stages in our lives – so some people need to address more issues than others. I consider that my active membership of Internet discussion groups was of prime importance in assisting me to come to terms with my communication issues. It was an important piece of the jigsaw but it was just that – a piece. There was so much more that I had to do, including regular attendance at self-help groups where I greatly improved my ability/confidence of speaking in front of others. Sheryl, I wish you every success with your studies and future career. Kindest regards Alan