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From: Alan B
Date: 16 Oct 2012
Time: 14:46:41 -0500
Remote Name: 95.144.98.77
Hi Pam, Thank you for sharing. Your paper reminded me of the time that I took the role of Goldilocks (yes, that cuddly children’s story character) in a Christmas pantomime that I wrote and produced at the police headquarters where I worked. It was attended by other police officers and civilian employees. I suspect that you may not be familiar with the term ‘pantomime’, as it is uniquely British. Well let me explain that a pantomime is a type of live musical comedy play, generally seen in theatres/halls etc in the UK around Christmas time. One of the unusual features is that the principal female role is traditionally played by a man. I know it seems a little strange but the kids (and adults) love it. It generally involves some slapstick humour and audience interaction. The villain is booed and hissed whenever he appears on stage. :-) On this one occasion, I took the principal role and dressed up in the usual long dress, blonde wig and spoke with a ‘female’ voice throughout. I didn’t stutter once in nearly two hours. :-) Many persons who stutter develop a narrow self image, believing that they cannot undertake particular roles, or do specific things. Well I was no longer Alan B, I was Goldilocks – I had adopted a different persona. It was perfectly acceptable for HER to speak loudly and assertively in front of an audience – but not ME. A senior officer suggested that I should always speak with high-pitched voice, but I declined. But to this very day, I’m convinced that I could have gained promotion in the policewomen’s section. :-) Returning to your paper - many PWS that I have met over the years appear to possess a perfectionist trait. I know that I used to fall into that category. I think I used to try to compensate for what I then viewed as a flaw in my makeup (namely stuttering). At work, I was more conscientious that most and would go to inordinate lengths to ensure that nothing was left undone. I would take on additional roles and responsibilities because I wanted to prove myself. My written work was invariably more detailed and better presented than most which resulted in me attracting additional responsibilities. Clothes were of prime importance – I always felt that I needed to be well groomed and possessed a wardrobe that included a wide array of smart suits and formal attire. I suspect that I felt I was being judged. Today, things are SOOOOOOOOOOO different. My life is no longer shaped by the views of others. What other people think of me is none of my business. They are entitled to whatever opinions they choose. I have high self-confidence and no longer find it difficult to say “NO”. But the point I’m coming to (that relates to your paper) is that my mode of dress is now generally casual – I tend to wear jeans virtually every day. I still “scrub up” and put on a suit for public speaking engagements, funerals and other formal events but that’s about it. Like you, I’m happy in my own skin. If others don’t approve – then that’s their problem, not mine. :-) Pam, keep wearing those torn jeans; keep making the choices that suit you best; and keep living your life in accordance with YOUR beliefs, principles and desires. And one final thing – keep championing the causes of those persons who are in need of support. Kindest regards Alan