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From: Kevin Eldridge
Date: 09 Oct 2012
Time: 09:28:30 -0500
Remote Name: 98.206.194.165
Scott, Bill, Bob and Nina (and all those reading this), I assume that in this post you are responding to the post by Retz from 7 October. In my read of that post he stated that his first response would be to follow the many good suggestions that you (and others) have put forward regarding educating self and listeners, enlisting the aid of an adult, increasing awareness and understanding, etc. While I will admit that my initial response was “Retz, what are you thinking,” I have been thinking a lot about this in the past two days. What is our responsibility as professionals, as trusted guides to the clients we work with? Two of my girls play soccer. When they first began to play, if a ball came flying at them, they would move away (a natural reaction to a fast moving object heading their way). We have a little saying, “The bruise will fade in a few days, but the goal (against their team) will always remain in the record books.” They now take the ball to their body and feel good about the save. The shame that I feel from backing down to bullies when I was young still is with me 35 and 40 years later. It’s in the record books. While my “intellect” tells me that you all are right, and Retz is wrong, my heart tells me it is not so simple. Part of being a Person who Stutters, is being a Person who is Afraid. I’ve been thinking about that quite a bit over the last two days. I “think” that if I had hit one of those bullies in the nose, I would have walked down the halls with my head a little higher. Maybe then I would have raised my hand since I felt a little more confident. We tell our kids who stutter that stuttering is just part of who they are. We tell them to look at it objectively. We tell them that, “It’s Ok to stutter, that the important thing is to say what you want to say when you want to say it.” All of these things take courage. Yet, how can a person feel courageous when they don't stand up to those persecuting them? These are questions I am struggling with at the moment. If we are truly to be trusted, shouldn’t we at least have a discussion of the consequences of violence. My wife is an OB/GYN. We have a local charity that helps teenagers who are pregnant. My wife is on their “Do not call list” because she talks to teenagers about ALL the options available to them. This organization doesn’t want the girls to hear about abortion as an option. Whatever my wife’s views, she feels her patients (especially those in crisis) deserve to have an honest discussion of ALL of the options that are available to them. Maybe Retz is right, maybe the option of violence (and all it’s consequences) is something that should be talked about with a kid who stutters and his parents. We don’t have to advocate any decision. But I’m wondering if we have the responsibility to lay out all the options so the family can decide.