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From: Ellen-Marie Silverman
Date: 08 Oct 2012
Time: 10:36:23 -0500
Remote Name: 76.230.146.138
Hello, Reuben. The sequencing of the two words "lasting" and "change" in your question grabbed my attention this morning. I recognized them as communicating that it is in our hoping that when we get what we want and that when we achieve what we wish that we will have what we want and do what we wish as long as that is what we want. And, from my perspective, it the kind of thinking that make us frustrated. /// We know everything changes, and we know that when we substitute new ways of thinking and new ways of behaving for ways of thinking and behaving we no longer want to continue that there will be times we will "rubber-band" back to those now unwelcome ways we formerly thought and acted. This is what we label "relapse." /// If we think of relapse as an inevitable aspect of change, which it is, rather than reacting to it as a sign of failure, and if we respond to relapse as a reminder, no more and no less than that, to keep on keeping on using the practices we already have been using to speak more as we wish, we set the state for effectively managing inevitable relapse, which may occur from time-to-time. Let's just consider relapse as feedback, a reminder to keep at it. /// Hope this refreshes your view about relapse. Ellen-Marie Silverman