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From: Ellen-Marie Silverman
Date: 20 Oct 2012
Time: 19:04:08 -0500
Remote Name: 76.228.192.184
[[Do you think it’s possible that some fluency clients on the surface might appear or give the impression that they are not very motivated in therapy, but in reality it might be a defense? They secretly want to do make improvements but are afraid of failing. By giving others the impression that they are not taking it seriously, they are actually just taking away some of the anxiety that they personally feel in order to better succeed in addition to alleviating the anxiety that they feel from the expectations of others. ]] >>> You know, WHOEVER, I have been quite torn about whether or not to respond to your annonymous post and what to say to be most helpful if I did. Obviously, I decided to respond because I want to make a certain point that I do not believe could be made if I remained silent. >>> I am going to start by giving you some feedback on my response to receiving an annonymous request in this forum. I do not appreciate annonymous posts; I find them disrespectful. That someone would expect me to be open and truthful with them while being evasive or even deceitful with me annoys me, to say the least. I briefly entertain that thought and respond constructively to the anger and hurt I feel. I ask myself: "Why would that person do that? Can't they tell from reading my responses to other posts that I sincerely want to offer reasonable guidance to them." Then, as I think about the situation from the annonymous poster's perspective, which I have rarely had to do since in the 12 years I have been presenting papers at ISAD Conferences yours is only the second annonymous post I personally have received, I suspect they do so because they are afraid to take what they consider a risk identifying themselves to get what they want. And I suspect that may be what motivated you to withhold your identity --- fear --- and so the hypothetical client, or would-be client, you described would not be too unlike you, and vice-versa. You, too, may be risk-adversive. But unlike the client you described you were willing to stretch yourself out a bit to get what you wanted by engaging in an act of subterfuge. >>> I suspect by this time if you are still reading this post, you may feel I'm being harsh, way too critical, maybe b*tchy. Some others may, too. But that is not my intent at all. Let me say that I believe by "outing" you in this way, I am trying to give the most helpful response I can to you at this time. I am trying to help you see that what you are concerned about dealing with outside yourself could very well be a reflection of what is going on inside yourself that you, heretofore, have been unwilling or unable to address, because others' behaviors we find challenging to deal with generally reflect the limiting behaviors we ourselves engage in that we have yet to address and resolve. >>> So this response is a challenge to you to look within yourself to see if you may be afraid to do directly and straight-forwardly what you need to do to get/be as you wish. If so, you are like most of us, so don't fret, just look deeply into why and then identify what you can do instead that will provide you with a greater sense of competence and confidence. >>> Hope this helps. That has been my intent. Ellen-Marie Silverman P.S. You may want to take a look at the chapter I contributed, "Self-Reflection in Clinical Practice," in the textbook publsihed last year entitled, "Therapeutic Processes for Communication Disorders," edited by Robert J. Fourie.