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From: Liv
Date: 10/9/02
Time: 2:59:01 PM
Remote Name: 193.217.179.238
On our clipping board we have this drawing showing a man a a woman in a restaurant. The woman is commenting: "You don't look at all like your e-mail!"
I have met many people that don't look like their e-mail. Paul doesn't look like his e-mails either. But if I had just met him accidentally and had a conversation with him, I'm not so sure if I would have fallen for him. (Perhaps I would because of his beautiful big brown eyes, I don't know. His glasses at the time did their best to hide them, so I probably wouldn't have noticed.)In any case it would have been much more difficult for him to get to show me his true self, and it certainly would have taken a lot of time.(When you are fifty like I was you don't have time for an endless courting!) I am a great interrupter, and he probably never would have been able to finish a sentence. I also express my thoughts better in writing than in oral speech, and I often find it difficult to express my feelings orally. I felt from the beginning that Paul was very honest and didn't try to pretend being somebody else, and I felt pretty confident that it was safe to tell him about myself.I remember telling him that I had this odd feeling that I could tell him anything, my wildest dreams and my darkest secrets.
When I first received a picture of him I thought that he didn't look quite like what I had imagined, but there was no disappointment in that thought.
Still I was extremely nervous as my plane came closer and closer to Newark Airport. Jokingly I had asked Paul to bring a wheelchair, as I was sure my knees would give way. I remember talking and talking (as I do when I'm nervous) to a poor Swedish guy sitting next to me.
Well, the plane landed, Paul was there, my beshert with the beautiful soul. For me it is unthinkable that I should be disappointed or not wanting to go on with the relationship with a man that so totally had given his inner core to me.
I must admit I have yelled at him a few times when I think he deserves it, but I am convinced that we were meant for each other.
At our wedding I read a poem that I have translated from Norwegian. I think it expresses my feelings and the way this relationship was established:
HYMN (by Jakob Sande)
You came to me from daybreaking shores Dreamt by God in eternity once. I have carried you round in my arms And to you I have given my songs.
Through the sun you were led by my hand Till the weariness weakened your step. We have wandered in all wonderlands Till you fell fast asleep in my lap.
And your glittering eyes I could see Glittering blue towards heaven and sea. And a world opened up in your mind And this world in your eyes I could see.
Every thought about you, every dream Arches of temples do make. I have built you an altar within And renounced my Jahve for your sake.
Through decline and through night you shall shine On my path all these long, lonely miles. I will die by the stroke of your hands And go down in the light of your smiles.