Office Hours: The Professor is In

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Re: Self Acceptance

From: Ken St. Louis
Date: 10/20/02
Time: 10:13:56 AM
Remote Name: 157.182.12.205

Comments

Dear Jeff,

Good question. I don't have the answer! A few in our NSA self-help group thought that accepting one's stuttering was maybe the best any given stutterer might be capable of. But one rather forthright member stated that to assume that all stutterers must give up fluency as a goal is a "cop out." Again, I don't know, but here is my take on your question.

Stuttering is a bit like being seriously overweight. (Let's assume for the moment that one's physical health is not the issue--although more and more evidence suggests that it probably should be.) Most people do not want to be overweight because of the inconvenience and stigma it causes. Even so, there are a few who really don't care. Many overweight people have gone on strict diets (some,dozens of diets) and lost weight, but most have gained the weight back sooner or later. A rare few just lost the weight without doing anything in particular. A few have been successful with the first or second diet they tried and kept the weight off rather easily. Many have been intermittently successful, keeping the weight off most of the time but gaining too much during stressful times or during holidays. A few were pretty much unable to lose the weight at all unless they resorted to various drugs or surgeries (sometimes no doubt due to their atypical metabolic characteristics). A few have had such difficulties that they have made peace with their weight and learned to accept and celebrate it.

I really don't think there is one answer that fits every stutterer or overweight person. For my stuttering clients who are old enough, intelligent enough, or mature enough to make choices, I then lay out their choices and give my best guess of their likelihood of success with each. I believe they can expect that of me as a so-called specialist in this area. But I never assume that I am 100% correct and would never stand in the way of someone attempting to reach a level of fluency that I have doubts about. (David Daly has debated eloquently on this topic.) As clinicians or clients, we really never know the limits of human potential even though we can and must consider probabilities. On the other hand, I will take off my hat to someone whom I believe has the capability to be more fluent but chooses not to.

Thanks for the kind words about this forum.

Ken


Last changed: September 14, 2005