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From: Alan Badmington (to Deanna)
Date: 10/13/02
Time: 2:37:01 PM
Remote Name: 195.92.67.71
Hi Deanna,
Please see my response to Holly regarding the phenomenon of speaking in unison.
I’ll attempt to answer your questions in chronological order:
Question 1: What are some of the other strategies you use to reduce your stuttering?
Answer : If you had posed this question several years ago, my response would have far different to the answer I am now going to give. You see, I now have control over my stutter and am confident that I would not encounter any difficulties if I were getting married today. Indeed, as you will read in my post to Sandra , I actually thrive in such situations and engage in public speaking at every opportunity.
This change has occurred due to me acquiring tools to overcome the speech block and ‘difficult’ words; self acceptance; gaining an understanding of the psychology and physiology of stuttering; assertiveness training; total non-avoidance of hitherto ‘feared’ words and situations; expanding my comfort zones and refusing to accept that my stutter should curtail or restrict any activities.
Question 2: What strategy would you have used in your wedding vows if the priest and your wife would not have said them first?
Answer : I was reasonably confident that this ploy would be successful – so I did not have any other strategies in reserve. I have to be quite honest, in those days it would have been ‘hit and miss’. By that, I mean that I didn’t have any proper contingency to fall back on in such situations. If the fear ‘kicked in’, then I would invariably block. The stutter was, in effect, out-of-control and my speech let me down when I needed it most.
In common with most persons who stutter (PWS), I had my own array of ‘tricks’ (tapping a hand on my leg; nodding the head; repetitive use of ‘um’ preceding a difficult word; interrupting conversations etc). Inevitably, the effectiveness of the ‘trick’ was short-lived and I would constantly seek out new gimmicks to assist me. I practised word substitution at all times because I had difficulty with 13 letters of the alphabet. I became a walking Thesaurus and could provide 10 instant synonyms whenever a problem word loomed large on the horizon.
It was not uncommon for me to use a different accent (regional, upper class, foreign) to overcome my stutter. It provided greater fluency in most situations and I became an excellent mimic. I found this particularly useful when telling jokes – otherwise I would have blocked on the punch line. (I did consider getting married in the costume of a Spanish bull-fighter but felt that the vicar might object).
I also discovered that alcohol could loosen my tongue, although I strongly resisted the temptation to go down that path. There was, however, one major exception – the day on which I carried out the duties of best man at my brother’s wedding (two years after my own). On that occasion, I secreted a bottle of vodka midst my morning attire and discreetly consumed a few mouthfuls at appropriate times throughout the day. My actions were not as clandestine as I had anticipated. When later viewing the cine recording of the wedding (yes! it was long before the days of the video),| I could be conspicuously seen transferring the vodka bottle into the top hat that I was carrying. The evidence was irrefutable and I subsequently paid ‘big bucks’ to destroy the tape (only joking).
Although things went well, I would not recommend that course of action as I can see how it could become habitual when facing feared situations. I am not moralizing here – that is just my own personal opinion.
You will read elsewhere that I now thrive on public speaking and will take centre stage at every opportunity. Some people will say that I now talk too much, a charge to which I readily plead guilty. I waited for more than half a century for the debilitating oral shackles to be removed and I offer no excuse, whatsoever, for making up for lost time.
Thank you for your contribution.
Kindest regards
Alan Badmington