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From: Alan Badmington (to Emily)
Date: 10/19/02
Time: 5:26:00 PM
Remote Name: 195.92.67.69
Hi Emily,
Nice to hear from you.
Throughout my life, stuttering made a huge impact upon my desire to communicate, especially in front of a group. I suffered immense heartache, and accumulated a catalogue of lost opportunities, particularly in relation to my employment as a police officer.
Because of the unpleasant speaking experiences that I encountered during my life, I developed a host of negative beliefs about my speech:
For example, I believed that:
- I could not speak in front of groups, or persons I did not know personally;
- I could not use words commencing with 13 letters in the alphabet (including my surname);
- I could never give detailed explanations;
- I could never speak when I was the centre of attention;
- That only others could perform in those spreaking situations (and I envied those who appeared to be able to speak without worry or concern).
As I suffered the social consequences of malfunctioning speech, I changed the way I felt about myself and others. I developed strategies to protect myself from shame and embarrassment. I also developed strategies for pushing out, or hiding, difficult words. When these changes began to influence and reinforce each other, the problem became self-perpetuating.
Today, I am totally at ease when speaking in public, having eroded the negativity that influenced my life and my speech for so long.
Although my article deals solely with the impact that my speech had upon my wedding, I have embraced many other aspects when responding to other contributors. You may consider reading those comments, if you have a moment.
I wish you well in your pursuit of the Master's degree in Speech Pathology. Has your class received a presentation from a person who stutters? Having undertaken such talks, I know that it would be mutually advantageous.
Kindest regards
Alan Badmington