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From: Dale Williams
Date: 10/7/02
Time: 2:25:51 PM
Remote Name: 131.91.248.210
Mohammad,
I believe the key to facing the fears is to do so in small steps. Someone afraid of speaking in groups should not go right to delivering sermons in football stadiums, just as someone who has never held a racquet has no business trying to play a tennis match against Pete Sampras. Getting outside one’s comfort zone in small steps is helpful because, in doing so, the comfort zone gets expanded. Speaking in groups of 2 or 3 may be a challenge at first, but one most people can get used to doing. From there, maybe go to making a comment in a meeting or a class. Then lead small group discussions, etc.
Anxiety is definitely related to stuttering. The fears we create about different words and situations not only cue us to stutter when we again encounter those words/situations, but they also lead to avoidance behaviors, which make the problem worse in the long run. Fortunately, confronting the fears can help to reverse this pattern for some people (as I try to explain in my answer to Angie).
I love the question, “While talking should we pretend we care about what others think?” It could be interpreted in various ways, however, so I hope I answer it the right way. I’m going to assume that you’re asking whether the person who stutters should address the listeners’ reactions. Usually I don’t do so directly. Even when someone interrupts, if I finish what I have to say—all of what I have to say—I send the message I want to send, i.e., that I’m going to talk my way. Keep in mind, though, that some people like to handle these instances differently (by making humorous comments or instructing the listener how to behave, to give just 2 examples). The key is to do what works for you.
Thanks for the good questions. If I misinterpreted one (or more) of them, feel free to ask again.
Dale