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From: Dale Williams
Date: 10/17/02
Time: 12:37:50 PM
Remote Name: 131.91.248.210
Elizabeth,
Yours is a tough question I had to think about for a while. Here are some more-or-less random thoughts.
So people don’t think I’m unrealistic in my self-assessment, I should probably first separate the ideal from the reality. For example, the ideal for your school’s football team is to win every game. But unless you’re attending Oklahoma, that probably won’t happen. That won’t mean that they didn’t try hard or do well. Similarly, I think I do a pretty good job saying what I want to say, but that doesn’t mean I defeat my anxieties each and every time.
So when did I strive to say what I wanted to? It was a gradual process. I guess over time I just got sick of being defeated. In order to win a few, I had stop being so insecure about what others might think. Or maybe I just developed a new way to handle my insecurities.
In thinking about this, I realized that when I do attempt to mask my stuttering, I usually do so for dopey reasons, such as not wanting to ruin the punch line of a joke. But I know that avoiding is something I’ll eventually have to pay for, so at least I'm not fooling myself into thinking I'm getting away with something.
Thanks for the thought-provoking question.
Dale