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From: Russ Hicks
Date: 10/18/03
Time: 1:42:50 PM
Remote Name: 12.237.88.139
Hello A. Alvarez,
"Is stuttering the most devastating illness for a man?" My summary answer would be absolutely NOT. I recently watched my beloved cousin die from melanoma cancer (of the brain and head) and stuttering isn't even in the same league of suffering that he had to endure. And I'm sure there are even far worse conditions for man.
Let's not quibble about the meaning of "illness" and "condition." Certainly stuttering is not an "illness" though the stuttering condition can exhibit many symptoms of an illness.
All that being said, I understand your underlying meaning. Yes, absolutely one of the fundamental characteristics of human beings is the seemingly inborn desire to COMMUNICATE with other human beings. If he can't do that, or has some condition that makes that communication extremely difficult, then he begins to feel increased isolation from others, and this in itself can be extremely painful. Being mute or deaf or blind can have similar effects. In the extreme, being isolated in solitary confinement in prison can have the same effect.
I had a friend once even commit suicide because he stuttered. He shot himself and left a suicide note that said in part, "Now people will know how bad stuttering hurts." So certainly, yes, to him his stuttering was absolutely devastating.
We as stutterers - or sufferers from any condition which tends to isolate us from others - must carefully watch as objectively as possible the old Pogo adage of "We have met the enemy and he is us." WE can be our own worst enemy here. My friend who committed suicide became a virtual hermit, not letting anyone near him or help him for a long time. He was determined to be a "victim" of his own making. It was like he built his own prison and locked himself inside - and constantly complained that nobody liked him because he stuttered. That was far from the truth, but in his own mind, and in his own reality (which is all that matters to anyone), he WAS isolated. He WAS suffering. But in truth, he largely did that to himself. Certainly stuttering was a factor, but he made no effort to reach out to others, to truly attempt to communicate with others. And yes, it was a devastating tragedy.
We have to bear in mind that WE have at least some control of our own destiny. If WE choose to be victims, then we WILL be victims. But if we choose to live life fully in spite of the fact we stutter, we can still lead happy and successful lives. Of course it's not easy. Life itself is not easy.
Be we have a choice. My cousin didn't.
Russ