[ Contents | Next | Previous | Up ]
From: Alan Badmington
Date: 10/4/03
Time: 5:18:45 PM
Remote Name: 195.92.67.66
Hi Katie,
Thank you for your comments.
Incidentally, I don’t hold the title of ‘Dr’ – I’m just a plain and simple ‘Mr’ – but, please call me Alan.
In order to answer your questions, let me just reiterate that a comfort zone can be many things. It can be an environment with which you are familiar; it can involve being in the presence of members of your own family, or mixing with friends or immediate work colleagues. It can even be a thought in your mind. It differs from person to person.
A comfort zone can change at anytime - and cease to be a comfort zone. Let me see if I can give you an example (based on my past stuttering behaviour).
Let us imagine that I was in the office talking to a close colleague. In such a situation, I would not generally have experienced too much difficulty with my speech, particularly as I would be carefully selecting the words I used (and avoiding those which gave me difficulty). The telephone rings – everything changes. My lifelong problems of using the telephone, particularly in front of other people, meant that I was never really at ease with that method of communication. I am, therefore, no longer within my comfort zone. The easy option would be to take the telephone into an adjoining office, where I could not be overheard. If I did this, the fear level would decrease, because no one else could listen to my conversation.
When the telephone initially rings, my colleague leaves the office to carry out another task elsewhere in the building. I, therefore, continue the conversation without anyone else being present. Because I know the caller well, I am not stuttering to any great extent. However, if my colleague happened to re-enter the office while I was still using the telephone (or I became aware that he, or someone else, had moved to within hearing distance), the fear of speaking would return. I would immediately become more conscious of my speech and stutter more severely. This would also occur if the caller passed the telephone to another person (at the other end of the line) with whom I was less familiar.
So you see, within seconds, my comfort zone ceased to remain a comfort zone, even though I was still in the same place.
In order to expand my comfort zone (and combat the problems that I have outlined in the above scenario), I now realise that I should not have avoided words when speaking to my colleague (in my office) in the first instance. Each time I substituted a synonym for a ‘feared’ word, I added to my future fear of saying that particular word. I developed an even greater emotional charge in respect of those words.
I should also have requested my colleague to remain in the office while I spoke on the telephone, thereby challenging my long-term fears of speaking in front of others. Even better – I should have adopted a regular practice of speaking on the telephone in the presence of other people, thereby gradual expanding my comfort zone (and eroding the fear).
Returning to today – I know that if I had chosen to remain within my original comfort zone, then I would still be living a severely restricted life. That is no longer the case. I did not wish to retain the status quo; I wanted to move outside the narrow parameters that had shackled me for so many years. I was determined that I would succeed, despite the initial discomfort that I experienced.
Many PWS are able to attain improvements in their speech in a controlled safe environment. In order to sustain those gains, they must challenge their limiting beliefs by placing themselves in situations that they fear. People will, undoubtedly, experience short-term discomfort when attempting to do something with which they are not familiar When this occurs, it is so tempting to give up and revert back to one’s old thoughts and behaviours. If we do this, nothing will ever change. It is a gradual process.
As a matter of interest, are you studying speech disorders?
Kindest regards
Alan Badmington