[ Contents | Next | Previous | Up ]
From: Alan Badmington
Date: 10/8/03
Time: 3:47:14 PM
Remote Name: 195.92.67.69
Hi Amy,
Thank you for your kind comments. I apologise for the slight delay in responding to your post, but I really have been so busy during recent days.
As I mentioned in the paper, the principle of comfort zones applies to everyone, in general, and not just persons who stutter. Whether people extend themselves, or not, is entirely a personal choice.
Some PWS are content with their lives and have no wish to change the status quo. Their decision has to be respected. We are all responsible for our individual passages through life - it is WE who have to make the decision.
The manner in which I transformed my life obviously worked for me - it may not be successful for others. I was ready to embark upon that course of action at that particular time in my life because it was right for ME, and no-one else.
A few years earlier, I had been involved in a car accident and totally withdrew from social activities. My speech seriously deteriorated - if anyone had suggested to me (at that time) that I should expand my comfort zones, I would not have been interested. In fact, I suspect that I might well have expressed that feeling in strong terms.
I had no thoughts, whatsoever, of challenging myself following my injuries. The situation changed when (in May 2000) my wife persuaded me to make one last effort to come to terms with my stutter. She knew that I was not living my life to the full - I was not realising my potential. I was so sceptical (having failed on previous occasions) and, initially, expressed disinterest.
I eventually agreed and acquired new techniques to overcome the speech block and 'feared' words. I also learned about the physiological and psychological aspects of stuttering, and gained a greater understanding of the detrimental effects of avoidance practices. I made a pact with myself that I would never again avoid any letter, sound, word or situation. I thus had to face the fear and expand my comfort zones.
I also acquired assertiveness and fear reduction skills (including voluntary/pseudo stuttering and other desensitisation methods.)
Although my change of heart resulted from my wife's suggestion, the decision to work upon my life and speech had to be mine. If I had entered the venture half-heartedly, I would not have experienced the gains that I achieved. (You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink).
I think that it is also useful if you can embark upon the journey (of expanding comfort zones) with the support of other persons who stutter. It is so easy to lose heart when you attempt it alone.
I also believe that self-esteem plays an important part when coming terms with stuttering. We must learn to like/love ourselves, irrespective of any apparent 'blemishes' or 'imperfections'.
In answer to your questions, I will conclude by saying that:
(1) Providing the PWS wishes to expand his/her comfort zones, then I respectfully suggest that he/she might initially consider tasks which are less challenging. I feel it is wise to gain confidence on 'easier targets', in the first instance, before moving on to those which involve greater risk. (Equate it to learning to drive a car. When I first sat behind the wheel, I practised in those areas where traffic was light. I progressed to the more congested areas only when I had gained confidence and became more proficient. The same principle applies.)
(2) Yes!, there will always be persons (not just PWS) who choose to remain within their comfort zones, for whatever reason. Their decision must be respected.
Kindest regards
Alan Badmington