[ Contents | Next | Previous | Up ]
From: Alan Badmington
Date: 10/9/03
Time: 5:29:02 PM
Remote Name: 195.92.67.65
Hi Judy,
Thank you for your second post!
Here’s how I have viewed my journey during the past three years.
As my paper indicates, the speaking situations that I created were extensive and varied. Although I now incorporate my expansion into everyday life, initially, I had to make a conscious effort to conjure up challenges.
If I stopped someone in the street, I would divide my approaches into several different areas. First, there were occasions when I would merely ask for the time or directions, or make some other enquiry that required the provision of information.
While speaking to complete strangers, I would also utilise a percentage of those encounters to disclose the fact that I was working on my speech. I would tell them that the principal reason for stopping them was to practise my new technique, while also attempting to overcome my lifelong fear of speaking in such situations. Sometimes, the conversation would last for 5/10 minutes, during which I would explain some of the problems associated with stuttering. I always conducted such approaches with utmost courtesy and consideration for the listeners, ensuring that I thanked them for affording me their time.
Many revealed that they had relatives, friends or colleagues who stutter. Due to the favourable manner in which I have been received, my perception of what members of the public think about persons who stutter has changed from negative to positive.
I have met many interesting people while expanding my comfort zones. I have chatted with strangers on planes and trains; in restaurants; in stores; in the street and even in casinos in Las Vegas. Stuttering is no longer a taboo subject for me – I talk about it at every opportunity.
Only yesterday, I attended a public speaking and communications skills seminar with many professional persons. At the end of session, the others thanked me for introducing different concepts about communication in relation to stuttering. They said that they now viewed stuttering in a completely different light.
For example, when we were discussing listening skills, I explained that (throughout my life) my listening skills were poor, due to the fact that, whenever anyone spoke to me, I would focus on how I was going to respond. I was not really taking account of what he/she was saying. Similarly, I highlighted that the inter-personal skills of many PWS are deficient, because they have tended to remain on the fringes of conversation and social activities.
Last year, I attended a 20 weeks course, which covered assertiveness, self-esteem, confidence building, positive thinking etc. During that period, I learned a great deal about the others in the group – none of who had a speech problem. Nevertheless, I found that everyone had a fear of public speaking, while most were reluctant to expand their comfort zones. Such traits are not confined to PWS. One confided that his sole reason for attending was to gain the confidence to answer the telephone at work.
Tomorrow, I commence yet another assertiveness course (12 weeks). I don’t need to become any more assertive – I merely attend to experience the challenge of interacting with strangers in a different environment.
During the past three years, I have met some tremendously interesting people, due to placing myself in new situations. I enjoy the many friendships I have made in more than one continent. I belong to three public speaking clubs – other PWS attend two of those clubs. The third is more challenging because I am the only person who stutters. I purposely chose that club because I saw it as a greater challenge.
Judy, I now find most people interesting. I speak to so many – I relish their company and conversation. Prior to 2000, my social circles had become very restricted, following my car accident.
I’ve learned a great deal about others, but I’ve also learned even more about myself. I have increased my self-esteem; I am much more confident in my own abilities; I have expanded the parameters of my narrow self image to accommodate the ‘new’ me. I will now tackle anything and feel secure in the knowledge that I can cope with whatever life presents.
Kindest regards
Alan