Expanding Your Comfort Zone

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Re: Using the phone

From: Alan Badmington
Date: 10/22/03
Time: 5:34:40 PM
Remote Name: 195.92.67.68

Comments

Hi Arul,

Nice to hear from you!

I have been in the company of many hundreds of persons who stutter during the past few years. It has been my experience that a large percentage of them encounter difficulty when saying their names.

It's something we just can't avoid. If your name is Arul, then that is what you have to say, although I personally know some PWS who have changed their names in order to overcome the problem. I definitely would not advocate such drastic action, as it is yet another example of avoidance. Avoidance in one area of your life is likely to encroach upon other areas.

When I decided to expand my comfort zones (in the manner outlined in my paper), I created situations where I could introduce myself to others.

May I suggest that you ALWAYS answer the telephone with your name, unless (of course) it is company policy to welcome callers with a specific greeting. Having done this for the past three years, I no longer fear saying my name.

Practise saying the word 'Hello' as often as possible. Create opportunities to use that word and, once again, I feel confident that your fear levels will subside. It won't happen overnight - you will need to keep working on it. If you continue to avoid 'Hello' (and substitute 'Hi'), the fear will never go away.

If using the telphone is fearful - then face that fear and use it regularly. Avoid sending emails and text messages so that you can increase the time you spend on the telephone.

You mention that you are 27 and appear to suggest that this may prove a hindrance to improved speech. I was twice your age when I embarked upon the journey that I describe in the ISAD paper. It is likely that I had accumulated far greater emotional baggage than yourself.

In my humble opinion, the only way in which to improve one's conversational/communication skills is to practise them as often as possible. Join social groups; seek membership of speakers' clubs; attend seminars/courses which focus on these subjects. And, above all, believe in yourself.

Prior to expanding my comfort zones, I learned a new technique for overcoming the speech block, and also acquired tools to deal with feared words.

Finally, we are what we think. If we think that we are going to have difficulties, then we are sowing the seeds for those difficulties to occur. If we have positive thoughts, then there is a far greater likelihood that we will experience a positive outcome.

I have used positive thinking/affirmations and creative visualization, to very good effect.

I wish you every success.

Kindest regards

Alan


Last changed: September 12, 2005