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From: Terry Dartnall
Date: 10/9/03
Time: 1:02:26 AM
Remote Name: 132.234.9.71
“Why at 30 did you chose to disclose the truth about your stuttering?”
Right … My then girlfriend and I shared a traumatic experience. This wasn’t what you would call a major relationship, but it was briefly very intense (because of the shared trauma—read “both being mugged,” something along those lines) and that’s when I came out and told her. I had a major 6 year relationship in my 20s and I didn’t tell my partner about my stammer.
Also, I might have told my girlfriend when I was 30 partly because I was beginning to realise that the situation was ridiculous, and I had to tell someone. (By the way, I have never told our children, who are all adults now. It would be strange if they stumbled across this correspondence!)
“As well as, do you feel that if you would have spoken out at as a child about stuttering maybe some of the stress you've endured throughout life would have been subsided?”
I’m trying to remember. I think I might have tried to broach the issue with my parents. Not in a serious “I’ve got something to tell you” kind of way, but in a rather oblique way. And I got the impression that if I had come out and told them they would have brushed it aside. I think that probably deterred me from telling them about it—then or later in life.
But that’s not answering your question. If I HAD spoken out as child (and been listened to) would some of my stress have subsided?
I don’t know how to answer that question! Yes, probably. I suppose. It would depend on how people responded to me, wouldn’t it?
“What advice would you have for SLP’s who are working with covert stutterers to help them aid their clients to relieve some of the feelings they have within them?”
Well … know something about covert stuttering! When I finally went to see an SLP, only a few years ago, in my later 50s, she didn’t seem to know anything about covert stammering at all. I didn’t come across the word “covert” until I was in the US last year. So that would be a start. And then you would realise that you aren’t alone. Which I really didn’t know until last year, when I was nearly 60.
The SLP could also put the client in touch with other coverts—such as Cathy Olish’s email group.
Beyond that, I think your question amounts to, “How should SLPs go about helping/treating coverts?” And I don’t know how to answer that question either!
Terry