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From: Tim Mackesey
Date: 10/7/03
Time: 7:31:02 PM
Remote Name: 68.211.97.202
In 11 years no one has ever mentioned dishonesty. They get the point right away. I ask "tell me which one makes you more comfortable." They always say when I keep eye contact. THeir reason is always around 1) I appear more comfortable as a person who stutters, 2)It looks 'weird' when I keep looking away at the stutter, etc.
It is metaphorical when they see what they have been doing from someone else.
On lying: eye patterns can be helpful in gathering info, but we need more than that. This is called "calibration." This is keenly observing affect, facial tone, facial coloration, breathing, eye patterns, and other nonverbal cues.
For instance, a prosecutor examining a witness may lead with several questions that he/she knows the answer. Is your name Brenda? Are you an SLP student? Are you (blank) age? Keen obervation would be made of all these nonverbal cues. He has set you up for the big question. Have you ever lied? If so, you will exhibit subtle cues. You may infact access feelings or pictures, etc. There will be multiple cues to the keen observer.
I bet you have friends and loved ones that you have calibrated their faces. So, when they are in a sad/happy/angry/giddy etc state, you know right away. How do you know? You have calibrated these cues. We calibrate spouses to know when to bring up those thorny issues :)
If you have kids, you will know lying through calibration.
THis information is critical to build rapport in therapy. When someone is in an unresourceful state, we proceed accordingly. It is called "pacing and leading." We pace their affect and then help them out of it.
CHeers, Tim